Writers, writers everywhere

I'm sitting here looking at the upcoming season of writers conferences and thinking. I've also joined Twitter (wayzgoose) and Facebook (Nathan Everett) and I've been shopping for friends. (Also joined MySpace, but haven't done any of that yet.)

So, what I realize is that writers want to talk to other writers. We want someone who understands. Someone should feel the pain. And, of course, we have a fount of wisdom and advice to share with others who are about to make the same mistake we are have.

But I don't see a lot of writers talking to readers.

In fact, among many, I see a bit of a disdain toward people who only read books and don't write them themselves. If they really understood literature, surely they would write it. We relish being the misunderstood artist. How can we be sufficiently depressed to keep slashing at ourselves with a ballpoint pen if there is no one to misunderstand us.

If I were creating a new community (which I am), I would want to bring writers face-to-face (or comment to comment) with the people who want to read great books. If I were a reader (which I am), I would want to tell the writer--before the book is published--that the book needs more scenery, character, plot, or porn--whatever. And if I were a writer (which I am), I would want someone other than my family and friends who have a vested interest in my success to read my work and tell me that it really is as great as my family and friends have told me and that they can't wait to buy it.

And if I could put the two together (which I will), I would depend on the readers to tell me which books I should publish and which I should avoid at all costs. I think I would trust those readers more than any agent or editor trying to guess what the market will buy.

So, my partners and I have created Long Tale Press, a place where readers and writers can come together, and where we will take the advice of the readers as to whether the book should be published. If you are a reader (or a writer), visit us. Soft launch is coming in July with the grand opening in November. Sign up now.

Final synopsis for Four Faces of Carles

After struggling with too much verbosity in my synopsis, I finally wrote one that I really like. We'll see, of course, how well the judges like it in the PNWA competition. We'll see.

THE FOUR FACES OF CARLES

Time: October 1969-June 1970
Place: Indianapolis, Indiana and Keswick, England

Twenty-year-old WAYNE Hamel is the student technical director for the Indianapolis City University Players, counting on a career in professional theatre. With his talent for organizing crews and complex productions along with his undeniable skill at fabricating realistic and functional props, he stands a good chance of fulfilling his dream – if he can stay in school and avoid the draft. Near the peak of the Viet Nam War, that could prove difficult if he keeps falling asleep in Dr. REBECCA Allen’s Cultural Anthropology class. But the research project he agrees to in order to keep his full-time student status will plunge WAYNE headlong into a power struggle within one of the world’s oldest and most powerful covens.

WAYNE’s girlfriend – JUDITH Harmon – engages in a test of wills and ritual magic with REBECCA to capitalize on the oblivious WAYNE’s prodigious skills as a toolmaker. But when WAYNE’s recluse Uncle BERT gets into the act – initiating WAYNE into his own secret society and endowing him with an ancient knife reputed to be one of the sacred relics of a forgotten cult – WAYNE is confused, bemused, and ready to laugh it all off as an elaborate hoax. It is not until WAYNE confides in LISSA, the donut lady, that she becomes his guide and exposes the very real possibility that he has both the skill and the power to heal the soul of Coven Carles. Gradually WAYNE learns to embrace his heritage and use his devotion to the three women to rescue the coven from a final lapse into degradation.

As WAYNE prepares a production of Hamlet for a tour of England’s Lakes District, he deals with the tensions between his love for JUDITH and his growing infatuation with REBECCA. Both subtly instruct WAYNE in the craft without knowing that LISSA is manipulating him behind the scenes. But is LISSA friend or foe? Is it she or BAN, the power-hungry high priest of Coven Carles, who is responsible for the repeated break-ins of the theatre scene shop and apparent sabotage of the tour?

When the show finally gets to England, WAYNE is constantly thrown into trance memories implanted by LISSA, causing him to relive the story of the first Vagabond Priest of Coven Carles. These memory trances become so disruptive and frightening that WAYNE flees from the stabilizing influence of REBECCA and JUDITH, narrowly escaping entrapment by BAN. While wandering the moors near Keswick, WAYNE falls into a river where LISSA awaits to complete his initiation and send him on the last leg of his journey to save the coven.

The great stone circle, Carles Castlerigg, is lit by fire when WAYNE arrives during the Midsummer Eve ritual. His first sight is of REBECCA, locked in combat with the renegade high priest BAN. He charges the circle, brandishing the knife that his uncle gave him, burning a hole in the protective charms around the ritual. Only as he stands ready to strike down the high priest do REBECCA and JUDITH realize he is wielding the athamé, the sacred knife of the coven – the Fourth Face of Carles.

At last WAYNE is ready to reconcile the two halves of his life – theatre and magic – and take his place as a Vagabond Priest and guardian of the Four Faces of Carles.

New discoveries for GoB

Well, as I was gardening this morning (a rare task to find me engaged in) I thought of a couple more clues as to what has to happen in Gutenberg's Other Book. MC Geoff Hart has always been told his father was killed in a printing accident. But Geoff's grandfather, Francis Allen Hart, tells Geoff it was no accident. While pressuring Francis to tell them where the secret of Gutenberg's alchemy is hidden, they killed Geoff's father. Francis became a recluse thereafter and didn't tell anyone about it. Geoff doesn't meet him until he is in college.

It turns out that it is Geoff's stepfather that encourages Geoff to meet with the old man. Roy Kennedy (the stepfather) believes the old man will tell Geoff the secret and Roy (who is an Aldine) will be able to convince Geoff to tell him.

Complete first draft synopsis of "The Four Faces of Carles"

The Four Faces of Carles
By Nathan Everett
Synopsis
Time: October 1969-June 1970.
Genre: Occult Fantasy
October: Theatre major WAYNE Hamel wakes up in Dr. REBECCA Allen’s cultural anthropology class at Indianapolis City University to discover that all the rest of the students have been dismissed and he is alone with the hard-as-nails professor. After listening to his story, REBECCA agrees to switch WAYNE to independent study on condition that he complete a 50 page paper by the end of the term. He rushes out of class to meet British transfer student and fencing master JUDITH Harmon, his new love interest. She is very interested in his research assignment and agrees to a first date with WAYNE for the cast party of Hamlet.

Halloween: WAYNE and JUDITH go on their third date in a week for a Halloween costume party. JUDITH feigns drunkenness and WAYNE takes her home. When they part, JUDITH breaks into the library to plant research notes she knows WAYNE will find and include in his report for REBECCA. While there, she witnesses REBECCA go to the roof of the building to conduct the Samhain ritual. JUDITH escapes, setting off the alarms. REBECCA sees her run away, but doesn’t know who it is.

December: REBECCA declares WAYNE’s paper to be based on a fraud. She passes him because he did honest work, but recognizes at once that the materials he based the paper on were planted. She gets the message that was left in the source documents for her. The task she has sworn to undertake could be fatal. WAYNE and JUDITH, now blossoming in romance go to Christmas dinner and exchange gifts. He gives her a sword that he has made. She gives him her necklace, a star with her name-sign on it. JUDITH decides not to return to England yet.

Over Christmas break, Wayne visits his Uncle BERT, a former spy now retired in West Virginia. Bert initiates Wayne into the craft and gives him a name, a Book of Shadows, and a knife that is an ancient tool of power. Somewhat bemused by his BERT’s secrecy, WAYNE still agrees to study the writings and keep them secret.

February: WAYNE and JUDITH finish setting lights for the winter performance and find a spot in the costume closet to make out. While there, they witness a break-in and flee. WAYNE reads in BERT’s book and has a dream. Waking, he finds JUDITH and they go to the theatre to find out officially about the break-in. The theatre director warns them of dire consequences if drugs are found in or around the theatre.

Disturbed by what he has been reading and unable to sleep, WAYNE stops at his favorite late-night haunt, Donut World, where the waitress LISSA become his confidant about what he has been reading.

Strike night horseplay after the show ends with JUDITH asking WAYNE to come to England with her for spring break. WAYNE readily agrees, but at the cast party they are told that their production of Hamlet has been chosen for summer performances in England. WAYNE receives a message from an Ouija Board game to Beware Litha. His friends say the board has a lisp and it is LISSA he is being warned against. He turns down a disappointed JUDITH’s invitation for spring break because he will only be able to afford one trip to England.

March (Equinox): WAYNE takes JUDITH to the airport and discovers REBECCA is on the same flight. JUDITH avoids her. In England, REBECCA goes to Carles Castlerigg stone circle to perform the summoning spell to gather together the four sacred tools of the coven which have not been seen together since World War II (25 years earlier). This is the task that REBECCA has taken on that is to prove so dangerous. JUDITH joins REBECCA in the circle as a coven sister without revealing her identity. Together they raise the power and perform the summoning. Back in Indiana, WAYNE decides to experiment with the spells in BERT’s book and raises a small tornado. BERT shows up to quell it.

April: Acting as a campus delivery-boy, WAYNE delivers a package to REBECCA that is Iäpetus, the sacred staff of Carles. It has come to her from a dying friend who wanted to place it in her hands. WAYNE agrees to carry some boxes for REBECCA’s evening class and to pick them up after class. As they talk, REBECCA reveals that she must return to England in June. WAYNE invites her to join the cast of Hamlet for their tour. When she goes to an after-rehearsal outing to meet the director of the show, she comes face-to-face with JUDITH for the first time and recognizes her as a sister from Cobhan Carles. Tensions between the two women are electric and each accuses the other of recklessness.

WAYNE works on new props for the touring production of Hamlet and we discover how important it is to him that the craftsmanship of the props make them exact reproductions of historic items. He tests the throwing of Hamlet’s knife when JUDITH walks in. She demonstrates how to throw a knife while offering a veiled threat to WAYNE if he doesn’t watch his step in their relationship. Rehearsals are not going well, complicated by the fact that WAYNE must do a mimed love scene with REBECCA. There are obvious conflicts between WAYNE, JUDITH, and REBECCA.

May: There has been another break-in in the theatre. REBECCA decides to scry the perpetrator using evidence she has found. She goes to her rooftop sanctuary to perform the ritual, but is interrupted by a knife thrown into her circle. She is unable to catch the perpetrator before she has been locked onto the rooftop. WAYNE, in the meantime, decides that he will use his new-found power to place a ward around the building to prevent further break-ins. Rebecca has to fight against it to leave the building.

Rehearsals at last are going well, so the cast calls for a party day at Brown County Park. Things have been rocky between JUDITH and WAYNE as she spends more time with CHUCK, the actor playing Hamlet. WAYNE offers to give REBECCA a lift to the park. Once there, they encounter JUDITH and CHUCK rehearsing a knife-throwing scene. It serves to heighten the animosity between REBECCA and JUDITH, which WAYNE mistakenly assumes is over him. REBECCA cuts WAYNE a walking stick for their trip to England and WAYNE offers to repair the charred handle on REBECCA’s knife. She agrees.

June: The night before they leave for England, WAYNE arrives to repair REBECCA’s knife. When the job is finished, they take REBECCA’s ritual items to the scene shop to pack them in the crate of props. WAYNE includes his own walking stick in the crate. They kiss, flooding WAYNE with confusion. WAYNE and JUDITH decide to stay up all night before they leave and go to the school park to lay out blankets on the turf. They interrupt a dark ritual in the park and are chased out. A mysterious blade has been thrown at them which WAYNE recognizes as a missing saw blade from the shop. It has been decorated with symbols and WAYNE spends the rest of the night sleeping on the crated props to protect them.

The rest of the book (part 2 of the synopsis) all takes place over about two weeks in June in and around the village of Keswick in northern England, ending at summer solstice.

June 3, the cast arrives in Keswick. Props and costumes are held up in customs. WAYNE and REBECCA are sent back to London to get the crate out of customs. They get back to the theatre in Keswick 45 minutes before show time to find a disaster. WAYNE enlists JUDITH’s help to get the show up. They open on time. After the show WAYNE and JUDITH, with friends GAIL and GLENN go out for a walk to smoke a joint. WAYNE falls into a trance sleep and JUDITH abandons him. WAYNE has a dream. (content to determine what happens next. May be guided by Lissa.) GLENN gets him back to hotel and Rebecca wakes him from the trance.

June 11, the cast starts a four-night run at Ambleside. The theatre has better lighting, but the ropes holding up the batons are a tangled rat’s nest and there is only one dressing room for the forty performers. The knife-throwing scene having failed at Keswick, WAYNE has sharpened the blade and warns CHUCK to be careful with it. During the performance, CHUCK’s throw goes wild and severs a rope, dropping a heavily loaded baton and catching REBECCA on the back. Dr. MCBRIDE arrives and JUDITH identifies him as the high priest of Cobhan Carles. He claims the knife that was used on stage was Creus, the Athame of the circle. They both deny it and say it was a prop. When REBECCA sleeps under the painkiller, MCBRIDE suggests to JUDITH that they let REBECCA finish her task and then wrest the power of the tools from her together.

REBECCA has feverish dreams and awakes to find WAYNE caring for her. In an effort to patch things up between them, JUDITH shows up for an early outing with WAYNE to the lake. On the lake, WAYNE slips into a trance again and JUDITH wakes him by pouring wine down his throat. Recognizing that JUDITH did not have a corkscrew, WAYNE dives into the lake and swims away. He avoids contact with both JUDITH and REBECCA, believing they have been using him for some sinister end of their own.

Solstice: In the market, WAYNE rescues an old woman from a runaway lorie. She places a small leather pouch in his hands with the instructions to give it to REBECCA. WAYNE now believes the conspiracy extends to a great part of the village and determines to go completely undercover. Arriving early at the show tent, he sabotages the light board so the final show has to be canceled. While in the tent, however, he meets MCBRIDE, who has stolen the prop knife from the crate. He tells WAYNE that he has been used by both REBECCA and JUDITH in a private power struggle they are having over control of the tools of power. He tries to get WAYNE to hand over the pouch he has received, but the act triggers a deja vu experience for WAYNE and he escapes from MCBRIDE.

After the show has been canceled, with no sign of WAYNE, REBECCA and JUDITH finally meet together. JUDITH tells REBECCA that her mission has been to protect REBECCA and that MCBRIDE is in the midst of trying to use both of them to grab all the power. They promise to act together to prevent his success and to protect WAYNE, whom they have realized may hold the key. At that point they see the witch’s fire bloom from Skiddaw and realize that they have been called to the circle by someone else.

Back at the hotel, WAYNE waits until he sees GLENN’s light come on, then shoots a note through the window asking him to bring his suitcase to Walla Crag. He has misjudged the position of the windows, however, and the note comes through REBECCA’s window. She quickly packs WAYNE’s suitcase and rushes off to meet him at the rendezvous.

WAYNE is about to flee when he sees REBECCA, but she pleads with him to let her explain. The discussion is heated and when he accuses her of using sex to control him she slaps him. Something inside snaps and WAYNE fully enters another character. He flees, grabs his knife and robe from the suitcase and begins climbing the crag. REBECCA pleads with him to come down before he falls, but he manages the escape, dropping the leather pouch to REBECCA before he disappears into the night.

WAYNE stumbles off into the night and in his delirium he stumbles and slides into a river. Scrambling to get out and dry, WAYNE hears a female laugh from the river. He is enticed into the water and swims with LISSA who continues to instruct him on what he will have to do in order to truly believe in his magic. When he awakes from sleeping by the water, he dresses in his black robe. Holding his tools and the sacred knife of Carles, he climbs the hill toward the firelight at the top.

In the circle, the gathered priestesses of the circles that comprise Cobhan Carles challenge MCBRIDE’s right to call the gathering. He declares that he has the right because he can and no one else in the circle can. JUDITH releases REBECCA from her partnership and REBECCA faces off with MCBRIDE to raise fire from the Cauldron. The explosion that she creates knocks all of them back. MCBRIDE takes the opportunity to grab REBECCA and force her to the altar where he threatens to kill her if she refuses to help him forge a new Athame for the circle. Skilled in self-defense, REBECCA forces MCBRIDE backward and over the altar stone. When they land, the knife is shaken out of MCBRIDE’s grip and is launched across the circle.

When WAYNE reaches the top of the hill he sees REBECCA being threatened by MCBRIDE and charges to her aid. He is caught in the wards of the circle and can only watch helplessly as the knife dislodged from MCBRIDE’s hand sails directly toward him. In a last burst of effort, he moves his staff between himself and the knife, blocking the blade and bursting into flames as he breaks through the wards. Flinging off his robe he launches himself toward MCBRIDE with his own knife raised. He is stopped by REBECCA and JUDITH who declare that it is not their way, then realize that the knife WAYNE is brandishing is the missing Face of Carles. MCBRIDE is expelled and WAYNE joins REBECCA as a vagabond priest to complete the solstice ritual and scry in the great cauldron.

WAYNE realizes that REBECCA has become caught in the infinite possibilities of the future and in a supreme effort lifts the cauldron from the fire and smashes it against the altar, thus releasing REBECCA from the trance. In the steam that rises from the broken cauldron, they see LISSA materialize to congratulate them all on their task well-done. She always likes a theatrical entrance.

The next day, WAYNE is unsure how much of the previous night has actually occurred. He boards the bus and sits with JUDITH as they head off to tour Edinborough. On the way, JUDITH points out her own cottage and repeats her invitation for WAYNE to stay in England for a few extra weeks with her before returning to school in the fall. WAYNE agrees. After all, he’d really like to stay for Lugnasad (August 4).

The next big project

Well, Steven George has been written and I have been working on doing a nicely produced print version as a thank you to those dozen or so people who were instrumental to me in getting it done. I'm thinking of how to revise and pitch it, or possibly publish it in a download friendly version on-line. I'll figure this out eventually.

But now I am in the process of scoping out my next novel, and I am very excited. Tentatively titled "Gutenberg's Other Book" it has the kind of exciting discovery elements of "The Davinci Code" or "National Treasure," set in the unlikely space of the printing industry and specifically antiquarian books. This is a space I know intimately. I have taught print history and typography. I have published journals and corporate materials. I was one of the first adopters of Desktop Publishing technology and taught the whole electronic technology and color production route for major corporations across the country. I've filed half a dozen patents (which are slowly issuing) over the past ten years for computer typography and layout technologies. Now I'm going to set a novel in that milieu. I think this will be fun.

I'll have bits and pieces of material posted here over the next few months, though I expect that in November I will not blog this novel. It will be much longer, for one thing (estimating 110,000 words) and I have high hopes of putting this in the hands of a publisher for real. Nonetheless, I will solicit your input as I go, and interested reviewers will be placed on a list for special peaks inside. LMK.

Writing Lessons: The Character Résumé

Okay, this is one of the many techniques for getting to know your characters and getting inside the way they actually respond to situations. You've probably seen one or more of the many character questionaires or memes that have circulated. My favorite, however, is to actually write a résumé for the character. If you happen to be putting together your own résumé for that endless job-search, there are some pointers here that might help you on that, too.

Wanted: Evil villain for mystery novel

Must be able to use people without conscience, despoil innocent women, and be facile in financial crimes. The successful candidate will have experience in seduction, embezzlement, strong-arm tactics, and simple theft. Candidate will be a self-starter, well-educated, and socially ascendent. Apply within.

Okay, that's the want-ad. Now, how will you put together your résumé so that it sells to the prospective employer. Here's a hint: It doesn't look like this.

1998-2000: Personal Assistant to Lex Luthor, Luthor Corp.
2000-2001: Self-employed in money laundering business.
2001-2006: Member of George Bush's cabinet.
2006-Present: Consultant to UAW/CIO labor union.
BA in Economics from Brigham Young University.

All too often we think of a résumé as our employment history. And while that might be of help in an interview where someone wants to know if you actually know Lex, it doesn't really tell anything about your experience. Compare that to a résumé written as accomplishments:

As Personal Assistant to Lex Luthor, I coordinated the take-over of the Smallville Bank, personally evicting 35 farmers who were behind on their mortgages and engineering the acquisition of a single plot of over 4000 acres without cash payment.

Without my employer knowing it, I embezzled $750,000 from said bank into off-shore accounts, establishing a network of pseudo-legitimate business clients.

Single-handedly turned network of business clients into a sieve for laundering the money received from drug-lords in South America, legitimizing the income through acquisition of real estate in South Central Florida.

Set a record by seducing 14 brides in a single 30-day period, on their wedding nights (sometimes in pairs) and lifted over $4,000 from their wedding gifts without being detected.

So, see the difference? First of all, based on the job requirements I posted, I have found a candidate that appears to be more than qualified for the simple jewel theft I had in mind for my story, but now I can start weighing other candidates. You are thinking in this process of what kind of background will give your villain the skills, motivation, and character that you need in order to pull off the caper in your story.

And by the way, that is how I wrote my own résumé and is how I write my goals for the year. No one is going to be interested in how I served my time. They will be interested in what I accomplished. The same is true of your villain or other character. Write him/her a good résumé and you will know precisely what he/she is capable of when you write the book.

Writing Lessons: Interviewing a Suspect

While this sounds like a mystery writing technique, the first time I used it (way back in '81) it was for my first occult fantasy. I had given my first draft of the novel to a friend whose opinion I valued to give me feedback. I gave him all 120 pages of my first novel! When he gave it back he said, "Wow! It's really freeze-dried. If you added a little hot water it would be a whole book." Well, that got me thinking. Having read the book again myself I started out thinking about what else I'd like to know about what happened. As a result, I started interviewing my main character, asking question after question. That was the moment that my character, J. Wesley Allen, took shape as a real person with whom I could carry on a conversation. He became so real that he took control and I wrote five little booklets of his philosophy with a hundred short pithy quotes that I called collectively "The Book of Wesley."

Last year, you saw a lot of that technique as I explored the creation of my characters Dag Hamar and Deb Riley. Many of you actually participated in making them real. So here is the technique I use to interview my characters, and specifically for those writing a mystery, how to interview the suspect.

First, understand that the suspect doesn't want to give you the information that you need. If she did, you just have to ask her, "Why did you kill your husband?" and she would fill you in on all the details. End of mystery. So you have to do two things: collect evidence that will convict the suspect, and try to get the suspect to give you enough information that she entraps herself.

It is an old saying that a murder (or other crime) requires three elements: Motive, Means, and Opportunity. So, in your interview you have to elicit these three pieces. Let's start with motive. For convenience sake, I'm going to stick with the example I just started. I suspect the wife of murdering her husband. Here are some of my interview questions.

1. How did you and your husband meet? Was it love at first sight? Did you marry for convenience? Do you have children? (The intent here is to get the character to talk to you about things that don't seem all that threatening. They aren't accusatory, they are just going to fill you in on what the relationship used to be like.)


2. Do you do all the child-rearing yourself or was your husband actively involved? Did you agree on how to raise the children? Did he ever take the children out by himself? Was he abusive to the children? How about to you? (Now we're beginning to get into one of the three biggest areas that married people have extreme fallout over. The children. You are actually playing an elimination game here. Subtly you are getting around to the abuse subject. You want to know if she trusted him.)


3. Was your husband's job stressful? Did he have any enemies at work? Was he responsible for anyone being fired? Did people envy him for his position or his wealth or salary? (Notice that here you are opening a door for the wife to accuse or try to direct your attention to someone else. But the real deal is you are trying to find out whether they fought over money. Was she satisfied with her social and financial status? Was her husband a wastral? Unemployed? Spending more than he earned? Insured?)


4. Did your husband always come home at night? Was he prone to working late? Did he travel a lot? Did anyone travel with him? Did you ever suspect him of being involved with something against the law? Drugs? Embezzlement? Did you know about his affair with the secretary? (Sex. That's really the third big area. You are working her around to letting you know that she hated her husband for cheating on her.)

This group of questions was all focused on getting a motive. That's usually the hardest part because you have to get inside the suspect's head to find out what motivates her. So the next thing you have to figure out is whether or not the suspect could possibly have done it. Did she have the means?

1. Are there any firearms in the house? Could you hand me my briefcase, please? Do you enjoy cooking? You have a degree in botany; can you identify edible mushrooms?


2. How long have you been confined to a wheelchair? When did you start taking self-defense classes? How did you get that scar?


3. So these questions are focused on two major areas: Did the suspect have the physical ability (strength, health, mobility) to commit the crime, and did the suspect have access to the necessary weapon (firearm, poison, knife, etc.)? Now, we have to establish whether the suspect could have been in the right place at the right time to commit the crime. I'll start with the obvious.


4. Where were you the night of the fifth between 8:00 and 10:00 p.m.? (In reality, that's not a great question to ask unless you are intentionally misleading the suspect into thinking you believe the murder was committed at a different time than it was. You could follow up the question with "Then did you go straight home?")


5. What time do you pick the children up from school? Who else knew you were going to see a movie Friday? Did you often ask your husband to stop at the grocery story on the way home? (Now you are establishing routine and patterns that put the suspect in proximity to the victim.)


6. Where else did you go when you went to pick up the children? Did you speak to the crossing-guard when you got to the school? Why were you at Safeway in Issaquah at 3:00? (Now you are trying to spring information that you have gathered on the suspect to take her off-guard and get her to paint herself into a corner with lies that you can already verify. You already know that she left half an hour earlier than normal to pick up the children, that the crossing-guard was home sick, and that she used her credit card to buy gas in Issaquah.)

Assuming that you have reached a reasonable conclusion that the suspect had motive, means, and opportunity to commit the crime, you still have to collect the hard evidence that will convict her. But now you know that she did it; you just have to prove it. She was distraught over the fact that her husband threatened to leave her for a younger woman, she is missing a steak knife from the kitchen drawer, and she was in the parking lot where he was killed. You need the weapon (preferably with her fingerprints or identified as part of the set) in order to get an airtight conviction.

Writing Lessons: Using a Johari Window

Okay, so you already know how I plan. I'm a fanatic (though this year's planning looks like prep for an extemporaneous speech for which I don't yet know the subject). So I'm not going to lecture you on how you should or shouldn't plan. I know you will be successful no matter how much or little planning you think you are doing in advance.

Instead, I'm going to offer a technique for getting inside the characters' heads that I found very successfull in both of my last two outings. It's called a Johari Window and you can read about it in my original post on this back in October of '05. But here are some highlights that I think might be helpful.

Set up a grid with one character on the side and one across the top, let's say your detective and your perp. Here's a sample of what that would look like:



Now, in any given circumstance, you can take your two main characters and balance them out against this window. The unfolding story usually takes place in the "hidden" quadrant that is what is unknown to both of them. I used this two years ago to go through the five main events in my story and plot the two main characters against this. What did they both know, what did one know that the other didn't, and what did neither of them know?

What I find even more helpful, especially when you are thinking of planting red herrings for the mystery (which, indeed, often comes long after the fact), is that you can treat your relationship with the reader in the same way and work with the reader to solve the question. Put yourself across the side as the author and the reader across the top. At any given time in the story, you should be able to show what is known to both of you (you already wrote it), what is known to you that the reader doesn't know (you've got it plotted out), what is known to the reader that you don't know (the reader brings her own assumptions and deduction to the story. The reader may have figured out who did it in the first chapter, but still be reading because they don't know when the detective will discover it), and finally what neither you nor your reader know yet. It's that last "hidden" quadrant that contains the real mystery for your story. It enables you to keep developing and discovering things as you write the story.

I'm going to follow this up with the next of my mystery writing lessons "How to interview a suspect." BTW, you can find more basic information about Johari Windows at Noogenesis.

Pains of the journey

Steps to the Dragon: 134,537/865,463. Today: 9,365. Average: 7,914.

Steven must deal with the pain of walking. Even though he is in good shape and walks a lot, at the end of the first day the reality of the journey must set in. Blisters on his feet. How does he care for them so that they don't become a bloody crippling mass? Sore muscles. Sore legs, sore back. What stretches does he do? Does he soak in the river? Hunger. What is his day's rations? How much water does he need to drink?

I've decided he will have a gow and a knife as weaponry. He can make arrows, so his ammunition is replenishable. It is lightweight, so he can carry it. It can be strung with gut. He needs a knife for basic functioning.

The "road" out of town is really nothing more than pasture trails up to the herds and over to the river. He is pretty much left to follow the river as closely as he can on what amounts to a game trail. He doesn't really encounter a propper road until he has crossed the river at Rannihaha's farm.

Stories:
The teacher: I think the teacher is kind of the mad scientist of the village. Steven is probably left in his/her care because everyone else has real work to do. The teacher is a person rich in lore and long on theory. Very inventive. She is the one who comes up with the idea of walking music and invents the instrument. He is also the provider of herb and animal lore. The more I think about it, the more I think the teacher might be the grandparents, both of whom are a bit crazy, but love Steven and try to prepare him for success as well as they can. They may be the only ones in the village who were actually alive when the missionary came through and actually remember what he said. Or maybe it was even before their time. Perhaps they have traveled up or down the river and are the ones equipped to give him the known geography.

The dragon's lair may be said to be in a volcano that can be seen from the village that occasionally breathes fire.

I need an instrument

Steps to the Dragon: 125,172/874,828. Today: 12,461. Average: 7,823.

Well, I got a lot of exercise last week, but not much of it was walking. My total ending July 1 was 112,781 steps for two weeks. Standing in line all day Friday (total 2,000 steps) and Biking most of Sunday didn't help the count.

So, now the question I have about Stn. George is one of music. I have been convinced by your comments that music may be essential for a lone walker in order to keep his pace up and keep him sane. So Steven needs a musical instrument. But there is a catch. The instrument needs to meet several requirements:

• Must be light-weight and easy to carry
• Must be playable while walking
• Must not require Steven to blow into it as this could adversely affect his ability to walk under any strenuous conditions and still play
• Must not require both hands to play as Steven may be carrying a staff or other implement in one hand
• Must be multi-tonal, so not just a rhythm instrument with a beat (Yikes! Can you imagine walking 500 miles to a drumbeat?)
• Might be something he would dance to as well

Okay friends. Have at it. Suggest or invent an instrument for Steven to accompany himself on his long walk.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
cloverdew
i feel like some version of a guitar would be perfect because, with a strap is very portable and would be easy to play while walking: think wandering minstrels. but that doesn't satisfy the one-handed rule. :(

wayzgoose
Yes. If it were a stringed instrument, it would have to be plucked and not fretted or strummed. A form of lyre might work if it could be attached to him in some way that he didn't have to hold it in one hand and play it with the other.

BTW, when I traveled cross-country on my bicycle, I carried a baritone ukelele on my pack. I discovered that you had to be very careful of the strings in the hot sun. They tightened up and broke the anchor pins right off the intstrument!

---------------------------------------
cloister27
There's lots of things that could work except for that "not blow into it" requirement.

Taking ALL those requirements into account, all I can think of that satisfies every one is whistling and/or singing.

The lightest weight, most compact instruments are recorders and flutes. But, "play while walking" pretty well rules those out because I guarantee you you'll start feeling faint real fast trying to play something like that while walking. The breath control for the instrument and the oxygen requirements for the walking are just not compatible.

Play while walking suggests (strongly) a lute, harp, or perhaps ukulele. But those aren't especially compact and easy to transport, and then there's the whole question of string maintenance and what do you do when a string breaks?

And of course those are all two-handed.

He's just gotta be a gifted whistler. That's all there is to it. :)

wayzgoose
Whistle. Takes breath. Hard to do when under exertion. But you are right, it is difficult to come up with anything else. So, I've been trying to figure out ways to turn his clothing and/or pack into a musical instrument. Rhythms could be set by his walking pace. Then there could be handy chimes or woodblocks that added tonality. Maybe even putting a bellows in his shoes to inflate the bag of a pipe?

cloister27
> Whistle. Takes breath.

Yes, but you can whistle on both the inhale and exhale. There's a different tonal quality to it, but it does work. I can demonstrate if you need.

I'm starting to wonder, though, why is it so necessary for Stn to have music every step of the way? Why not let the _absence_ of music in particularly difficult stretches of travel underscore the physical difficulty of the trek?

-------------------------------------------------
tharyn
An Ipod? ;)

wayzgoose
YES! It is a fantasy/allegory after all. Maybe it should be an iPhone so he could get his bearings via GPS! It could be a whole new concept (and one I am not adverse to trying on for size) to do an allegory where the hero is off to slay a dragon, but is coming out of West by God Virginia in 2008 and heading for New York City. There is a whole new way of looking at the allegory genre that way!

-------------------------------------------------
travelintheways
Hmm... you said you didn't want just a rhythm instrument, but something like zills (finger cymbals) might work. It's a rhythm instrument, obviously, but it can produce different tones.

Or you could make up some kind of sensitive wind instrument - a hollow tube, maybe with fine strings in there somewhere? - that plays with the wind, either the natural wind or what a person makes by moving.

wayzgoose
Great ideas and very close to what I've been thinking. My first design was for multiple finger cymbals (one or two on each finger) struck by the thumb. Each cymbal would be tuned to a different pitch.

I also thought about the idea of a wind instrument that was bellowed by the hiker's movement. Think something like a bagpipe that is only inflated by the steps the hiker takes rather than by blowing into it.

I'm also considering musical clothing in which he is wearing various tonal things that can be struck or plucked as he walks. Maybe strings in a turtle shell for a lyre hung at his side, or stretched between two moving pieces of his clothing for different pitches. Great ideas. Thanks!

Characters: Stn. George & The Dragon

Steps to the Dragon: 100,041/899,959. Today: 10,120. Average: 8,337.

The teacher. I thought at first that the teacher would be all about math, physics, and history; but I'm thinking the instruction medium is music. I think this because Stn needs something to occupy himself on the road, and to help him with his pace. He should have uphill songs, downhill songs, evening and morning songs, and perhaps songs for other occasions that will help him on his journey. The songs should be instructional, containing the math, physics, and history that he will need as he travels.

This brings us to the point of an instrument for Stn. He should have something besides his voice. I think. But what kind of instrument? If he has to blow it, that cuts down his pace because it takes air. He's not likely to do it under any strenuous effort. Strings are nice, but take two hands. A drum would be all right, but perhaps monotonous.

So, maybe I need to invent an instrument that can be played with just the fingers of one hand, while holding it in the same hand. some pentatonic instrument. Hmmm. The description of that could be interesting.

Characters: Stn. George & The Dragon

Steps to the Dragon: 89,921/910,079. Today: 6,497. Average: 8,175

Mayor/Elder is manipulating things. He uses the whole idea of raising a dragon-slayer to unite the village in a common cause as a way to divert their attention away from real issues at home. Not enough food? It's the dragon's fault. Plague? The dragon's fault. Lost sheep? The dragon took it. If we could just get rid of the dragon, our problems would be solved.

Mother is a single mom. There may be several aspects about that. She may be hiding the elder's rape under some threat. The declaration may be that the dragon-slayer will be a man without a father. When Stn asks who his father is she answers only that he is the child of the Sun (and moon?). He says other children have fathers, she answers that he is not like other children. Everything is programmed to make stn feel different and set apart.

Steps to the Dragon: 83,424/916,576. Today: 6,129. Average: 8,342

I need to determine the weight of Stn's pack and a weight for everything that goes in it. Then I'll hold a poll on LJ and ask people what stays in and what goes. I'll cut off what he takes when the weight limit is reached. Then we'll take another crack at evaluating the items he is taking with a poll asking what you would leave behind in order to take something else and to justify it.

Just a quick update

Steps to the dragon: 38,455/961,545. Today: 12,188. Average: 7,691.

Good walking day. I've done a lot of thinking about the story and am about ready to write my first take on the mother.

This evening I went to a workshop on pitching your novel. I've been working on putting the pitch together for Security & Exchange. It is harder than writing the book. I did not make the finalist list for the literary competition, but will probably do a full rev of the book before the conference on July 24 when I'll get to pitch to two lit agents. It will be a great learning experience if nothing else.

Fleshing out the opening chapter

Steps to the Dragon: 26,267/973,733. Today: 9,501

I'm considering writing out significantly detailed outlines of each traveler's story before November so that the actual writing is only slightly more than transcribing the story. Sort of like doing an interview, then writing the story from the notes.

I'm considering doing this all longhand so that I can spend time really crafting the sequence, tone, and phrasing of the story. For example, the opening words should carry the fact that "the longest journey begins with a single step" so that Steven starts counting from his doorstep. The first paragraph should set the theme and direction for the whole book. It should be clear that no matter who is telling the story, the book is about Steven.

Within two paragraphs we should have established that Steven walks with a measured step at a specific pace. To walk slower would be to drag his feet and appear reluctant. Faster would appear reckless and lack seriousness. It would also prevent the townspeople from having the opportunity to appreciate his departure.

It should also introduce the fact that the journey began long before Steven's birth when a traveler spun a tale for the gullible villagers about a dragon that lived for a thousand years and would descend upon villages to devour their young or their livestock. Every sensible village would be prepared to train up a dragon-slayer. The village would know when the time was right by some sign.

Then we transition to the ______'s Tale. What is he called? Is he a wizard? Is he a minstrel? Does he tell the story out of malevalence, as ajoke on the bumpkins, or as a real evangelist? Perhaps he is an evangelist or a missionary. Perhaps the dragon is a promised punishment for those who do not believe his story. Perhaps the whole reason the village decides to train a dragon-slayer is because they have decided to run the missionary out of town, but fear the consequences.

What does the term "dragon" mean? A dragon could refer to a ythical beast, to a ruler, to a punishment, to a person. A dragon-lady could be a powerful or sexual woman. A lizard. Dragon-breath would be so foul it burns. Others?

Is there a sollusion that is going on? Was a sheep killed by a wolf and themayor uses it to bolster his campaign saying that surely the dragon must have done it--we need to unite in this time of national crisis and send out the dragon-slayer?

Have people alsays lived in fear of the dragon--kids, be good or the dragon will eat you--and now they have decided to break the chains of fear and send out the dragon-slayer. Perhaps they have always left a sacrifice for the dragon and now they are in open revolt and want to break the bonds of fear.

Someplace along the line in the first chapter, Steven needs to ponder whether he was fated to be the dragon-slayer, was elected, volunteered, was drafted, or what. Do we resolve how he was determined to be the dragon-slayer? Does he have reasons to doubt that he is really the dragon-slayer? What if I'm not the right one?

So, in summary,--Interupted. Don't remember the summary.

From Richard: About Faith/Belief. Adler talks about courage (heart). Can be transferred. If I believe in you, it gives you faith in yourself.

Terrain

Steps to the Dragon: 16,766/983,234. Today: 5,293

Terrain: Steven passes through a variety of terrain, including forest, mountain, desert, and urban. His instinct is to go around rather than through. This is one of the things that make his journey so arduous and long. He comes to a lake, he goes around it. A desert--he goes around it. Mountain? He has to determine if he really has to go over it. The key element is that he avoids conflict and the very things that would harden him for battle. That is also the path his companions have chosen, so when his path steadily becomes more difficult, they continue on their easier paths, making it inevitable that when it comes to the really hard parts, he is alone.

This will also bring him back closer to home than he has traveled. If he had taken the more difficult route, he would have gotten ther in fewer footsteps, though it might not have taken less time. Certainly if he visits his village again, he will find the village much closer than he imagined.

The dragon: If the dragon is able to manifest himself in different forms, he might be one or more of the traveling companions. He might also be the loremaster who originally incites the village into drafting a dragon-slayer.

The travelers: I'm thinking there is an element of the Canterbury Tales in all this. As Steven meets the various travelers, each has a story to tell. This makes it possible also to meet people who don't join him for the trip, but who have a story to tell--like Ranihaha: "Bridges are a great hindrance to commerce." The story is told by someone he encounters, not by someone who travels with him.

Steps to the Dragon

Steps to the Dragon: 5,700/994,300. Today: 5,700

Bought a pedometer that counts my footsteps. In measurement tests, my step is just under 32". So my walking today of 5,700 steps is just under three miles. My estimates say that Steven George will have to travel 1,000,000 steps to get from the village to the dragon (about 500 miles) I'm planning to see if I can get there before he does. It's going to be a summer of heavy walking. I'm thinking that as I progress and get the list closer to what I think it will be, I'm going to try walking with a pack of approximately the weight that Steven will start out carrying. I'd like to see how that affects his stride and ability to travel. It should be very interesting.


quitereasonable:
I think that beating Steven George on his run is a great idea.

If you come to a point where you really need to slow George down, a thick rainforest is a great idea, esp. if you have it rain during the journey. A rain during a journey can flood the area and in an attempt to esp the torrent, it can really throw you off course. The coming of the new river sounds just like cars driving overhead. A 3 mile point-to-point hike that I went on in Panama with a hiking expert and a bunch of other healthy high school students took us eight hours.


xjenavivex:
Thanks for telling us about the pedometer. I love when you dig in.


cloister27:
Ok, I have to loan you my brother-in-law's book. Yes, he was running instead of walking, and yes, most days he could get to a town to sleep in, but just the same I guarantee you'll get a lot of insight into Steven's journey from reading at least some of it. I'll try to remember to bring it in tomorrow.

Some more q&a about Stn. George

Some more questions about Stn. George
For some period (Steven is ageless in my mind) he has lived in an isolated village with a dragon mythology. No one in the village has ever actually seen a dragon. No one in the village actually knows how to kill one. But the entire village feels it is incumbent upon them to train up their dragon-slayer and to give him what he needs for his task. I anticipate stories of encounters with his mother, his lover, his teacher, his priest, and his mayor/elder.

1. Are there other significant people that he should remember encounters with either while leaving the village or after he is out on the open road? Who are they and what is their significance?


2. Everyone wants to give Steven something to help him on his journey and with his battle with the dragon. What are some of the things (and from whom) that he is given for his journey?


3. Steven is undertaking a journey of about 500 miles on foot to find and slay a dragon. What does he actually need to take? Does he have it with him when he leaves the village or does he acquire it on the road?

I really love hearing your responses, and although I'm likely to change many of them to suit the story as it develops, I add all suggestions to my log of writing ammunition. Thanks in advance for helping out.

andersenmom
In response to question 2:

They have a dragon mythology: presumably they have some sort of lore of what is effective against a dragon (whether true or false). I'd go into that: a weapon from the blacksmith, a charm from a "hedgewizard" or even from his lover - certainly a memento from the lover, whether effective or not.

Hope that helps a little.

wayzgoose
Thank you! I don't know yet what it will be, but this has definitely gone into my list of possibilities. Appreciate you taking the time to respond. If you'd like to keep participating, I don't always post the questions on the nanowrimo community, but my HYPERLINK "http://wayzgoose.livejournal.com/profile"HYPERLINK "http://wayzgoose.livejournal.com/profile"HYPERLINK "http://wayzgoose.livejournal.com/"wayzgoose journal is open.


travelintheways
I've caught a couple of your posts about your story idea here, but I have to admit I don't remember much. So I hope this helps!

I don't know if this fits into your story, but... what about someone who *claims* to have seen/fought a dragon? He or she doesn't have to be telling the truth (I don't remember the exact premise of your story), but I think it might make a neat episode if he ran into someone who has claimed to have seen/fought dragons, and he's probably gonna be skeptical. I dunno, I just like borderline crazy characters.

1. Depending on his experiences in the village, it might be memorable for him to run into someone/someones who have some significantly different customs from his village folk. Also memorable is someone who would treat him badly OR very well (again, depending on his worldview).

2. I know this is probably obvious, but I think items representative of a person's personality and relationship to Steven are best. So a protective relation (father, mother, uncle, whatever) could give him a protective charm or piece of clothing, while a younger, rash sort of friend might give him a fearsome-looking spear. Someone more sentimental might give him a memento, so he can remember home when he's far away from home and feeling lonely. A learned person might give him a potion or whatever from ancient lore, probably very complicated.

3. Eek, I'm not as good on this stuff. It's sorta cliche, but if he has any sort of skill that could earn him money/food/board on the way, it would be VERY helpful for him. The most common example of this is music, obviously - a little flute or whatever could maybe earn him a few free nights at an inn. Or something at least that he likes to do in his free time - a small illustrated book or scroll he can read in the evenings, a musical instrument (again), a needle-and-thread if he can mend his own clothes, a... I don't know, one of those cup and ball things. Or a packet of spices if he's a decent cook. Stuff like food and water is obvious, and I don't know what the best stuff for long-term travel is.

wayzgoose
Thank you! I like the idea of encountering an extreme person in his travels. Perhaps someone who takes advantage of him and "steals" the one thing he thinks will be most valuable in his fight against the dragon. Good suggestion.

Appreciate you taking the time to respond. If you'd like to keep participating, I don't always post the questions on the nanowrimo community, but my HYPERLINK "http://wayzgoose.livejournal.com/profile"HYPERLINK "http://wayzgoose.livejournal.com/profile"HYPERLINK "http://wayzgoose.livejournal.com/"wayzgoose journal is open.

travelintheways
Glad to help! Brainstorming ideas is good fun. I'm about to friend you!


cloister27
> No one in the village has ever actually seen a dragon. No one in the village actually knows how to kill one. But the entire village feels it is incumbent upon them to train up their dragon-slayer and to give him what he needs for his task.

Ah, dogma. :) But a nice aspect to the story none the less, and a jumping-off point for including some type of parable message in the story if you're into that sort of thing, along the lines of being skeptical of dogma or always validating your data or what-have-you.

Also, I like travelintheways' suggestion of Steven getting bad advice from an itinerant blowhard. Someone who is charismatic and persuasive, and the second he learns that the village is training a dragon slayer, starts making shit up in order to curry free food, lodgings, and feminine favor from the villagers.

Thinking about these comments and about some earlier posts, I'm inclined to agree that Steven's girlfriend (P.S.: I somehow see Steven as still a virgin. Probably because that echoes his general greenhorn status with respect to dragons and all) would give him some sort of keepsake. If, during the climactic battle, you find the dragon needing Steven to kill him while Steven is for some reason reluctant to do so (perhaps he's already started to wonder whether his mission is right), then the dragon could goad him into doing it by catching sight of the keepsake and making a threat towards the girlfriend ("after I finish you off and fly to your village, she's the first one I'm going to eat!").

The other commenters pretty much said what I'd have said for #1 and #2, but with respect to his skills, I think Steven should leave the village confidently, with skills that he thinks he'll need, but which will turn out to be entirely inadequate to the reality of his situations. Have him go through some rough times while he adjusts to life on the road but is still close enough that the idea of going back to the village tempts him.

wayzgoose
I like the idea that the itinerant could come in two parts: first that there is someone who comes to the village (which has never really heard of dragons before) and tells them about the grave danger and how to go about preparing for it (i.e. train up a dragon-slayer). Second, that Steven meets someone along the road who "knows all about dragons," but in reality is making everything up. It has a good ring to it.

I think also that Steven is not "inexperienced." He has great depth of experience--as in is not a teenager plucked at random and thrust into a situation for which he has not been prepared--but his experience is in a very closed environment (his village). His village knows all about life, love, and happiness. It just doesn't know about the outside world.

dracolich_prgrm
For the other points, much the other people's opinion.. for supplies, some sort of bedroll, whether be a sleeping bag type blanket, something to protect him from the ground, some dried foods such as jerky, some bandages and probably a small sewing kit for mending any tears in his clothing. Rope and thread. Clothing appropriate for the journey, armour or a weapon, sturdy shoes, and various other odds and ends.

wayzgoose
Thank you! It's interesting that you mention food. I'm thinking that Steven may set out thinking that rations for a weeklong camp-out may be all he needs. He doesn't really know how far it is to the dragon. Then he's on the trail having to find food as well as make his way--which means he needs hunting (and fishing and gathering) skill in order to survive.

If you'd like to keep participating, I don't always post the questions on the nanowrimo community, but my HYPERLINK "http://wayzgoose.livejournal.com/profile"HYPERLINK "http://wayzgoose.livejournal.com/profile"HYPERLINK "http://wayzgoose.livejournal.com/"wayzgoose journal is open.



ewrites
(Hi. I'm from the nanowrimo community.)

I don't know anything about your story, so use whatever you think's useful:

1. His friends. Is there anyone in the village who had doubts about dragons (whether they exist, whether they can be killed)? If Steven gets frustrated on the tough journey he might start to wonder whether it's pointless. Have people gone out to kill dragons before? Did they come back? Or do they remember the people who left and never returned?

3. An extra pair of boots and lots of socks. :)

wayzgoose
Thank you! I love the idea of having a skeptic in there somewhere. I was originally thinking that this might come in if Steven gets to a city on his journey. In the city they don't believe in dragons. Or perhaps "The Dragon" is a local pub.

If you'd like to keep participating, I don't always post the questions on the nanowrimo community, but my HYPERLINK "http://wayzgoose.livejournal.com/profile"HYPERLINK "http://wayzgoose.livejournal.com/profile"HYPERLINK "http://wayzgoose.livejournal.com/"wayzgoose journal is open.


cloister27
Also, and this is a little thing but it keeps nagging at me so I'll mention it: every time I go to type his name in one of these comments, I want to type it as "Stephen". It somehow just feels off to use the more modern v-spelling of that name in the context of a pre-industrial setting with dragons. At least, this is what my head tells me; I don't actually know from any research or whatnot that Stephen is a more historic spelling than Steven, but there you go. Food for thought.

wayzgoose
That's definitely an open issue. I focused so much on the abbreviation Stn. that I didn't give a whole lot of thought to how the rest of the name was spelled. I'll give some thought and research to this. I actually thought that he might even be nick-named Sten after the Stn abbreviation.

alathewish:
(Also from the nanowrimo community)

I actually don't have much to contribute, but I think this is a fantastic idea and I'd be really interested to find how it turns out.
So this is just a banner of encouragement being waved. I'll try think of something more helpful later.

Yours Alla

wayzgoose:
Thank you for the interest and for stopping by. I'd love for you to participate as the story progresses. I expect to ask many more questions. I don't post all of them on "nanowrimo so please feel free to friend me at if you'd like to follow along.

How far the journey over what terrain?

Thinking about the journey on the road and the terrain:
It should be varied terrain. Uphil/flat, lush, forest, desert.
It seems odd that there should be a vast, long road with no habitation or other landmark on it. They must come to another village or to a city somewhere along the line. If it were a big place (city), then when he tells people that he is going to slay the dragon, there would be a very different reaction (laughter) than there is in his village.

I can see him telling the people of another village that he is the dragon-slayer and being told that they had a dragon-slayer once. He never came back.

I might take a look at a slice of an area that I know as a start/end of the journey. I have to decide how far it is reasonable to have him walk on this journey.

Assuming that he travels an average of three miles an hour over ten hours each day, that would be thirty miles. It would be less going through rough terrain than on a smooth flat surface. Maybe he should only average 2 miles per hour, or 20 mile per day.

What is a reasonable, arduous journey? Three months? Six months? Five years?

Remember it is an allegory, not a dice-roll fantasy game. No fantastical creatures other than the dragon. No fairies, no dwarves, etc.

quitereasonable:

I like the idea of an arduous and momentous journey being nine months, but that could be because I'm pregnant.

An average of 20-30 miles seems reasonable, but shouldn't there be stuff happening to him to delay him?

I don't really have suggestions on the terrain, but were I writing it I might bone up on travel writings like Bryson's "Walk in the Woods", but for various areas, to see what I might like to throw at my unsuspecting victim, uh, protaganist.

cloister27

> It should be varied terrain. Uphil/flat, lush, forest, desert.

Agreed. You'll need descriptional (if I may coin a word) ways to indicate the passage of time and distance without constantly resorting to "and then on day 37..."

If it's a trade road it could easily a) exist, b) be uninhabited for vast stretches. Your setting (village) implies a long bygone era, when basically all settlements existed on rivers, sizeable streams, or shorelines. Setting the Dragon's lair in a mountain cave where the ridge of the mountain divides the space between two drainage systems, then there could easily be hundreds of miles of uninhabited trade road going, say, from a major town on one side to a major town on the other side.

To me, a "reasonable, arduous journey" for an epic type story would have to be one year, which also allows you to go through all four seasons during the journey. Seems like the sort of thing that legendary stories tend to do. On the other hand, that's pretty long, particularly if this dragon is supposed to be an essentially local figure to the village; i.e. he's _this_ village's problem. Other villages have their own damn dragons to deal with. In that case, I'd go with 28 days: maybe he has to start and end the journey on a full moon for some reason of prophesy or other.

20 miles a day, while certainly possible, is HARD going. For example: in 1988 my brother in law, who is not nearly as insane as you might suspect, RAN from Cape Henlopen, DE, to Point Reyes, CA, along the American Discovery Trail. Distance: 4800 miles. Time: 236 days. Average speed: 20.33 miles per day. And he was running. 3 mi/hr for 10 hr/day may sound good on paper, but it neglects time for finding food, pitching and un-making camp, etc. For Steven to consistently make 10 miles would probably be hard enough.

Terrain: something that mirrors his emotional/psychological journey. In the beginning, the going should be easy and smooth, and the land hospitable with plenty of streams to get water at and obligingly suicidal rabbits for him to catch, etc. But the farther he goes, the harder it should get until the final few miles to the dragon's lair are totally hellish (over craggy mountains in the dead of winter or something).

If the journey itself is hard enough, then it would be reasonable for Steven to arrive in some state of delirium, where from lack of food, water, and sleep he's not all together in his right mind. That would give you an interesting segue into his conversations with the dragon, and would make all the more believable any suppositions by Steven that the dragon's voice isn't real.


xjenevivex:
I loved the way the historian covered this terrain. it may be more modern than your story needs, but it came through fabulously.

Is Steven OCD?

Jason suggests that if Stn is OCD about counting his footsteps, what kind of turmoil is he tossed into when he inevitably loses track? Does he need to start over? Does he need to re-trace to the place where he was when he lost track? Does he need to reconcile himself to starting the count from where he is now? Does he give up the count?

The dragon hide

Why does Steven tan the hide of the dragon?

I think that in the dying conversation the dragon actually instructs Steven on tanning his hide and preserving his meat (it's already smoked!)

That leads me to believe that the dragon might keep talking to him after it is dead.

The influences and the travelers are almost parallel.
Mother-Tinker = Responsibility to home
Lover - gypsy = Responsibility to love
Teacher -
Priest - Pilgrim = Responsibility to god/spirit
Mayor - Soldier = Responsibility to homeland/society

Are they also spiritual/ physical/emotional/mental?

Notes on St. George

Notes on Stn George

Is the dragon his father and the next dragon-slayer his son? Seems a little cliche. I'm your father Luke. Oedipean.

Richard suggests that it is about making the transitions. What do you do after you have achieved your goals?

Steven should be ageless. The experience of an older man, but the naivete of a youth. Rich experience within a limited framework. His experience is of his townor village. No one there really knows much of the world. So when he meets strangers on the road he doesn't know about Tinkers and Pilgrims, Gypsies soldiers. The dragon is able to tempt him with things he has never seen. Aside from it being so hard to write, it would be good if he was sexless. Anyone should be able to identify with him.

There should be a fairly even division in the influences that he encounters in terms of sex.
Mother, Lover, Teacher, Gypsy
Priest, Mayor, Tinker, Soldier, Pilgrim
Also in and out of village.

Walking
Stately & Dignified = 80 steps/minute
Hiking long distance= 100 steps/minute
Liesurely or dragging = 60 steps/minute
Rushing = 140 steps/minute

Step length is 30" (2.5 feet)
Feet in a mile = 5280 (inches =63360)
Steps in a mile = 2112 (symetrical)
Speed in town = 26.4 minutes per mile or 2.3 miles/hour
Speed on the road = 21.1 min/mile or 2.9 mi/hr
Speed at a rush = 15 min/mile or 4 mi/hr.

Steven George & The Dragon

I have decided to scale back my novel ambitions for November and deal with something that doesn't feel like three years research and an insane month. So instead of the Letters from the Revolution, I am thinking in terms of an allegory called St. George and the Dragon, in which St stands for Steven, not Saint. Here is the synopsis as it currently stands.

Steven George has always known that he is the one who would slay the dragon. He doesn't remember if he volunteered, was drafted, elected, or inherited the task. He has spent his life being respected and cared for by the people of his village because of what he would one day do.

The story opens on the day that Steven is leaving the village to find the dragon. As he leaves, he reviews the five significant people in his live who have prepared him for this day--Mother, Lover, Teacher, Priest, and Mayor/Elder.

After he leaves the village, Steven meets four people, each of whom he first suspects of being the dragon, revealing that he really doesn't know what the dragon is. The fellow-travelers are Tinker, Gypsy, Pilgrim, and Soldier. They travel together giving him advice and swearing they will back him up until they reach the signpost. Then each of the four friends follow their own roads and leave Steven to follow the sign pointing to the dragon.

Steven finds the dragon and carries on a dialogue with it in which the dragon tries first to scare him away, then to bargain, then to tempt Steven. Each of these efforts fail and at last, Steven rises to fight the dragon.

During the battle, each of the opponents land heavy blows, some physical and some psychological. Steven refers to the dragon as a dumb beast, the dragon to Steven as an ignorant bumpkin. At last, Steven deals a fatal blow to the dragon whose agony washes over Steven so that he understands at last that he has killed an intelligent and valuable creature.

In the aftermath of the battle, Steven, through the dragon, discovers that the dragon was a part of him and gave him purpose which he has now lost. After the dragon is dead, Steven stays at the dragon's lair and rebuilds, ultimately wearing the dragon's skin to keep him warm. As time passes, he becomes the dragon and upon going down from his lair to the village where he had grown up, he finds a child being raised to become the dragon slayer.

I have a rough storyline and enough knowledge of what the story will be to start asking a ton of questions. So I'll keep this updated with the progress as I head toward November.

1. When Steven George first actually sees the dragon, why doesn't he go straight to work killing it instead of sitting down to engage in dialogue?


2. Is the dragon really Steven's father (father-image)?


3. Does Steven attempt to go back to the village after the dragon is dead and tell them that the dragon wasn't bad after all?

Okay, just the first few questions on my mind. There will be more. (Many, many more!)

From Jason:
> Then each of the four friends follow their own roads and leave Steven to follow the sign pointing to the dragon.

This had better be a long enough journey that a) it's a meaningful commitment for them to say they'll go that far with him, but b) Steven can't really blame them for not going the whole way when they bail out.

1. The dragon starts the conversation by saying something so surprising or profound that Steven is convinced to wait a while and learn more before fighting.


2. No. Too cliche. Cue sound of Darth Vader breathing.


3. I don't think so. If I were Steven, I'd feel completely betrayed by anyone in the village who ever contributed to his feeling that he had to do this thing--which, as you make it sound, is everybody. I wouldn't want anything to do with them. At a loss for what to do next, I'd probably stay at the lair since the now-dead dragon is the being I'd feel the most empathy with, but I'd be telling myself that this was just until I figured out what to do with the rest of my life. But of course, I'd get habituated to it and the more I stayed there the more I'd empathize with this dragon I'd slain. It could get to be an obsession, with me first affecting the dragon's speech patterns, then maybe some of his physical mannerisms, then only finally putting on the dragon's skin (maybe I'd preserved the hide immediately after the battle before the remorse had set in) as a culmination of this process by which I'd psychologically transformed into the dragon. Something about the skin would cause it to fuse with me, turning me physically into the dragon as well. But no, I don't think I'd go back to the village. Not until after I was dragonized.

It just occurred to me that the reason Steven would preserve the hide right after the battle would be because at that moment he still _expected_ to go back to the village, and needed proof. But the village being a long ways away and all, he figured he'd better preserve the hide before setting out. After all, it would be a shame if it rotted along the way, and besides, who wants to carry a big smelly uncured hide for that long? I would imagine, too, that before the remorse sets in that Steven would probably indulge in some fantasies about the hide hanging up in the big palace that the villagers would surely build for him, or maybe as a big floor covering in front of his throne.

Regardless (and on a related subject), IMHO there just has to be a psychological component to him finally putting on the dragon skin. I mean, how can there _not_ be a psych aspect to wearing the skin of your enemy. He's got to do it for some reason that's not so, well, mundaine as "Brr, sure is chilly today. Guess I'll wear this old dragon skin I've got lying around..."

Notes on the Letters

I'm thinking more and more that I should have either a narrator who tells the story, filling in the blanks, or that the stories should use a typographic "dissolve" from the letters (perhaps in Italic) and the story that connects them.

I could use this conceit to interrupt a letter so that it opens the scene, but instead of relating everything as part of a very long letter, we switch to a narrative account. It would otherwise stretch the believability if each letter were a dozen pages in length. Or I could tell the story between letters, so that each letter was of a reasonable length and complete, but between letters the narration carries on.

In either case, I need to be careful not to lose the charm and continuity of letting the letters themselves tell the story, or at least reveal the story's underlying meaning.

If I use a narration, what is the Point of View? M. suggests that I re-read Cold Mountain to help with that, and I might. But as I see it, I have several alternatives.

1. A descendent is compiling a family history and tells the stories.


2. One of the characters is the narrator telling about it from her POV while poring over the letters.


3. Narration is fully 3rd person neutral, covering all POVs. This has the greatest likelihood of success but also the biggest risk of sounding like a history book.


4. A peripheral character of the time tells the story, like the representative.


5. Alternates to #1 include a near descendent, like Thomas's son, or a descendent in 1959 at the unveiling of the statue to the Unknown Soldier, or a contemporary narrator.


6. It could also be a person in charge of the memorial or in charge of exhuming a body form the mass burial field for the tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

Character Sketches:

Thomas Dowding Born to a wealthy family in New England in 1745. Educated at Harvard which he left at age 17 to go to England and study at the Inns of Court. On the ship on his return to America he meets and falls in love with Ellen Garrick. They are married soon after they arrive back in Connecticut and he takes her to live in Western Connecticut. They have two children while Thomas practices law. He is brought to the attention of the soon-to-be representative to the First Continental Congress and is gradually brought into the fold of the Sons of Liberty.

Ellen Garrick Born in 1751 in Devon. She comes to America with her father who is to take some sort of government position in Connecticut arranged by his brother or brother-in-law who is influential in the British Colonial government. Ellen is a country girl at heart and loves the idea of rural living in America. She despises the cesspool of Philadelphia and won't go to live there with Thomas. She starts out as the daughter of a British functionary, progresses to join her husband's patriotism, then under the influence of her uncle passes Thomas's letters on to the British. When Thomas ceases writing and is presumed dead, she flees with her uncle and father and the children to Canada.

As I see this overall, the big danger would be to let the history become too important. I need to know where my characters intersect with history, but not to confuse the novel with a history lesson. I should be able to extract the story from this time and place it in WWII, Bagdad, or some future place and still have roughly the same story with the same letters. It is ultimately about a family divided by distance and political allegiance. That story is timeless.

More of the Epistolary Novel

The crux of Thomas's choice will come down to the fact that his wife is a Torie and has been passing his missives on to her uncle. He has been feeding them to the British who thwart the Americans at every turn.

When Thomas discovers what has happened, he writes a final letter with misinformation in it and tells his wife that he, too, will be riding to war at long last because it is his duty to his country. He does, and survives the battle, but never again writes to his wife. When the dead are collected and Thomas never returns home, Ellen assumes he has been lost in battle.

In truth, he leaves the field victorious and he and Jane move to the western territories where he continues his life as a lawyer with Jane and a new name she has given him. In the rugged wilds of West Virginia, he and Jane make the kind of life for themselves that he dreamed of having with Ellen. Years later he is elected to congress as a representative from West Virginia.

His last letter is to Jane, describing what a close call he has had as President Adms thought he recognized him from years ago. Thomas has followed the love of his life and his country, rather than betray it to his tratorous wife.

In her final letter to her uncle, Ellen praises Thomas stating that it may well be his bones that lie in the tomb of the unknown soldier. She says that it is better this way than that he ever discovered her treachery against him and his country. She writes from Canada where she has fled to raise her children as goood citizens of the Crown.

Notes:

• I need to study letters of the period for style, headings, and so on.
• I need a good chronology of the American Revolution with a description of the battles that went well and those that failed.
• I need a good clean way of identifying the letters and a persona for the editor/compiler of these letters (descendent).
• I need a list of the major pieces of correspondence with the dates and parties involved.
• Thomas to Ellen
• Ellen to Thomas
• Ellen to her uncle
• Ellen's uncle to her
• Jane to her cousin
• Josiah Bartlet to his wife
• It may not work to use Josiah Bartlet as he is the namesake of the president on West Wing. He may as a result be too well known. Check other signers of the declaration for an equally obscure representative.
• I'm not sure I like Jane to be a servant or serving girl, but I can't think of another place where there would be opportunity for commerce between them and the assumption that she is deaf.
• There is a possibility of using a few lines of actual letters of the approximate dates between the fictional narratives. Jane's letter might be her journal instead of letters to a cousin.
• Is there a tomb of the unknown soldier for the Revolutionary War? If so, where is it?