Annotated Outline 4-6

Chapter Four: Aftermath (6127)

1. Dazed and Confused (1698) (11/6): Aaron's awakening in the wrecked car. Establishes that he's out of contact when there is no cell service. Establishes his disorientation. Creates the question of whether he is lucid or hallucinating when he stumbles on the meeting, and also casts doubt on his hearing, affected by the crash. I think that Aaron's call after the accident will be completed to Jack, who is at the game. Aaron doesn't realize he's deaf, just that the call didn't go through. Looking in the church. Establishes that there is a window that is in viewing distance of the rendezvous place even though it is not used at this time. Establishes that the church is empty and still. Establishes that the church is unlocked. Aaron's awakening in the foyer unable to hear again. Creates doubt over whether he ever saw or heard what he thought he did. Introduces Pol as a human character who is caring and helpful. Casts into question whether or not there is cellular service because she calls 911. Distracts Aaron from his quest when EMTs arrive and take him to the hospital.
   jason said... "It was lighter in the sanctuary. [...] but there had to be chairs up on the chancel someplace."
   
   Being a secular humanist, born-and-bred, I have to admit I'm not all that familiar with church architecture. Not that I really need to be, but I'm finding myself more curious about the church itself than about Aaron's situation. It might help, just to give me a frame of reference for the church so I can stop thinking about it, if you could have Aaron absent mindedly notice some detail or other and identify to himself whether the church was catholic, lutheran, methodist, or baptist. Given that you've referenced several christian sects already, then at least giving the church's affiliation would help identify it.
   Nathan Everett said... I think that I'll actually make that more ambivalent. He can't identify the denomination. He might be able to identify some architectural features, like gothic arches around the stained glass windows, but he's going back to do some research on the church and can't even find a property tax record in the auditor's office. There's no mention of what kind of church it is until much later. But I'll emphasize that in this chapter and just say it must be some independent non-denominational church.


2. Hospital (995) (11/6): Establishes Jack at the hospital and Aaron’s continued disorientation. Introduces drugs to the mix and his broken ribs.


3. A Visitor (1276) (11/6): Pol visits Aaron at home. Establishes a lingering concern for Aaron on Pol's part. Gives them a chance to talk. Establishes that she is unwilling to talk about what he saw the night before.


4. Dinner with the Congresswoman (2161) (11/6): Establishes that Pol intends to keep an eye on Aaron in one way or another. She takes charge of getting him settled, making dinner, talking about his life. Leaves us with a spoken and an unspoken invitation as Pol invites Aaron to come to join her staff.
   jason said... "Aaron Case, come to work for me and I will show you how we can change the world. Think about it and give me a call."
   I think she needs to make a stronger argument than this. One that addresses some of the specific horrors that Aaron has lived through. Something like:
   "Come work for me and I will show you how we can change the world. Without getting shot at. Without losing people we care about. Think about it and give me a call."
   I mean, changing the world is great and all, but Aaron already knows that if he really wanted to, he could get back into his old activist role once again. He doesn't, because he perceives the risks (both physical and emotional) to be too great, to be more than he can withstand. So Pol needs to make an offer that appeals to those perceptions. Offering him the opportunity to be influential without the risks and suffering.
   Nathan Everett said... I like that, and you hit just at the moment where Aaron is sitting in his chair thinking about what she said. It probably won't show up in this chapter, but in the next the quote will come more to the heart of the matter.

Chapter Five: Checking it out. (5427)

1. Sunday, Sunday (2257) (11/7): Aaron is through sleeping all the time. Settles in with laptop to do some research. Decides to look up Pol and her politics. Discovers that she is liberal and matches a lot of his own concerns. He’s impressed and interested. Jack and Theresa come to visit. Theresa exclaims about how much food he went through. Jack and Aaron discuss Pol’s offer and Jack encourages Aaron to consider it.
   jason said... "So delivering a speech in Franklin was squarely within her district if at its very frontiers."
   Squarely, but also at its frontiers? I'd suggest deleting "squarely".
   "She was gone in a whirlwind, content to be mistress of her domain in the kitchen."
   I think we get by now that her domain is the kitchen. Sort of feels redundant to say it again here.
   "...Everybody in Washington is twenty-something years old. I tell you they’re looking for seasoned talent again."
   "Yeah, well, I’m pretty well seasoned, all right..."
   It's funny. I mean, I know in my head that Aaron has to be in his 50s by now, but I have trouble really picturing him that way. I'm not sure why. Maybe this is because readers have a tendancy to project themselves onto un-defined aspects of characters. Maybe other people read him differently. But every time his age comes up, I have to remind myself that he's not just in his late 20s or early 30s. Perhaps some of the earlier chapters could use to define Aaron more specifically so that our initial impression of him is more accurate.


2. Dreaming (3173) (11/8): The insurance agent calls on him. Hands him a check for more than what Aaron thinks his car is worth and says that he’ll take care of it from there on out. Lucky he wasn’t killed in the accident and tells him to bill any additional medical care. Aaron is overwhelmed at the agent’s speed and generosity. Agent lets slip that he was tipped off to move fast by a powerful person. Aaron asleep in a restless dream in which he recalls other portions of the conversation, but he is overlapping Pol into the picture. Believes the drugs are acting again. Gets up and paces. Gets his phone. Re-enacts the events. Flips the phone to camera mode and sees a picture of the window in the phone. Calls Jack and asks if he’d pick him up to go to Franklin in the morning.
   jason said... "Aaron looked at the pictures sadly. He bought that car used in San Francisco in ’76 when he was dating Angela. He’d babied it along for nearly thirty years and here it was a mangled bit of scrap metal. The car was thirty-five years old, not quite enough to qualify it as a classic."
   He drove into a telephone pole in an 1970s sports car, totalled the car, and walked away? Let's see, he bought it used in '76, so figure it's probably a 1973 model at the youngest: lap belts were mandatory, but he wouldn't have had shoulder belt, safety glass, crumple zones, or airbags.
   Hell, he didn't even have a catalytic converter, and he'd probably had to have some work done on it to retrofit it for unleaded gas when they stopped selling that!
   I have a little trouble with Aaron getting off with only some broken ribs in that major of an accident in a car with essentially no safety features. On the other hand, the lack of a shoulder belt certainly made it easier for him to throw himself down onto the seat in a hurry before the telephone pole tore the top off the car. Perhaps in an ironic twist, the lack of such modernities as that saved his life.
   If so, that probably deserves an explicit mention. Or maybe it was the aliens--maybe they had their eye on him all along, maybe they caused the crash, and used their advanced technology to either reduce the severity of the crash, or instantly heal _most_ of Aaron's letal injuries mere moments after the crash. But not all of them. That would be too obvious.
   Whatever the case, the fact of the car's age and Aaron's relative lack of injury (particularly considering his age) raises questions.
   "There was even a yellow rubber duck with a number on the bottom that he’d once caught at a carnival."
   
   Cute. :)
   
   "Okay, she did absolutely nothing illegal. She simply called his insurance company for him. Said he needed to see how good they were to clients."
   I think you're missing an 's' in there...
   "Aaron was exhausted again. It might be time for more sleep. A little more Vicodin."
   Admittedly I've never had a broken rib, so I don't know how much it hurts, but it seems like Aaron's taking an awful lot of Vicodin. And that's the stuff that doctors on TV dramas are always getting hooked on. Are you setting Aaron up for a painkiller habit?
   "God through Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden didn’t he?"
   Threw. Spell-check won't tell you about it, so I thought I would...
   Nathan Everett said... Interestingly enough, this accident is one of those things I pulled from life. I survived it in '74 in a '72 Fiat. The wife du jour did too. I didn't even have the broken ribs that time. However, I have had broken ribs in the recent past, and Vicodin was a miracle drug. They hurt with literally every breath you take and if I have a problem with what I've written here, it's that I'm moving him into action too soon. I remember, since I'm reminded on a daily basis, that it was while I was on Vicodin that I agreed to adopt a retired Greyhound. It really plays with your mind if you are taking enough of it.

Chapter Six: The platform (6264)

1. Strategy (807) (11/9): Pol and Alex discussing the situation in the inner office. Allusion to old way of doing things makes it sound like they might be in a criminal activity. Establishes that there is conflict between Pol and her “superiors”.
   jason said... I have trouble believing the dialogue when Pol gets Alex to back off about Aaron. Partly because the emotions seem to slam back and forth at lightning speed from one end of the spectrum to the other, and partly because as soon as Alex gives in, Pol basically says "Well, I was bluffing anyway." Maybe something more like this:
   “We don’t do things that way anymore, Alex. And don’t you dare suggest it,” Pol turned on him. “If anything happens to him I’ll torpedo the whole operation and you can explain the scars to the architect.” Pol glared at Alex as if daring him to challenge her.
   “Pol,” Alex said, a nervous edge creeping into his voice. He raised a hand slightly, to forestall her saying anything more before he could respond. “He means that much to you?”
   “He does.”
   Alex regarded her carefully for a long moment. “All right. I'll back off.” Really, what choice did he have? If Pol’s threat was at all serious...it was too horrid a prospect.
   “Thank you. You just have to give me a little leeway now. I know now who I am and I have to feel my way into my responsibilities. You’ve trained me well, now let me do my job.”
   “Okay, Pol,” Alex sighed. “Just be careful. These things have a way of backfiring. I’ll be near enough to help if you call.”


2. Investigation (1442) (11/9): Aaron and Jack decide to revisit the scene on the way to Franklin, recording every detail he can to refresh his memories. More suspicions aroused when Aaron can’t find a trace of where his car went off the road. The church door is locked, further rousing Aaron’s doubts of what he thinks he remembers. He and Jack head for Franklin.


3. Leadership (1691) (11/10): Pol’s Martin Luther King Jr. Day speech. Description and effect.
   jason said... "Oh, understand, I know the difference between a self-sacrificer and a murderer."
   I think that "a martyr and a murderer" would be stronger. Not only alliteratively, but it draws a clearer distinction between the fact that kennedy, kennedy, and king were murdered, while atta and al shehhi explicitly chose to die. I think it's an important distinction to make clear, because Pol treads on very thin ice, with respect to not losing the crowd, when she makes any sort of comparison between American political icons and terrorists.
   "As long as the world is divided into haves and have nots, the have nots there will be people dying for what they believe and killing for it as well."
   Only, the Kennedy's were definitely haves. Not quite sure, rhetorically, how to make this stronger without changing your intent. Maybe something like "As long as the world is divided into haves and have nots, there will be people willing to die--and to kill--for what they believe."


4. Employed (2329) (11/10): As Pol and Alex leave the Aaron and Jack meet them. Pol introduces Alex and talks in private with Aaron for a few minutes. Aaron pulls out resume and says that he’s interested in applying for the writing job. Aaron & Pol talk asking Jack to follow them to the airport. Pol tells Aaron that the job is on her campaign staff. Aaron tells her that its for Governor. Pol says she sees they understand each other very well.

Annotated Outline 1-3

There have been few posts here as I have been writing furiously. I'm now over 51,000 words into the story and 75,000 is looking like a realistic goal. I've been updating my chapter outline as I go with summaries of word count and content and want to get it posted here. But I also want to capture Jason's comments on the story as it has been progressing. He has keen insight, good writing talents, and great comments, so I want to capture them all together in context of the outline. I hope that when I start re-writing, I'll be able to use these notes to refine what I've written, even though I'm not really going back during November to make corrections.

Chapter One: Interviews in the Retirement Home. (7148)

1. Interview (1897)(11/1): Norma Parson's chicken scratch story. Sets the stage regarding Aaron's profession. Deals with the difficulty of telling what parts of oral history are dependable and what it is difficult to validate. Establishes introduction of Mad Aunt Hattie and how you "can't believe what she says."
   Jason said... "caret" and "nonegenarian". I'd nit-pick a few commas and such as well, but a nice start!


2. Poker (2909) (11/1): Setting up the interview and discussing the job with Jack. Introduces Mad Aunt Hattie and her own quirky view of herself. Establishes mentor relationship with Jack. Sets up use of cell phone in Aaron's business. I need to elevate Jack's position a bit as both friend and mentor to Aaron. First of all, the weekly poker game needs to be more than a bunch of old guys playing cards and shooting the bull. These guys need to be savvy businessmen and civil servants who use the game as much for their own agendas as for recreation.
   jason said... "She was like a mother to him. In fact, more real than his biological mother who died when he was a preteen."
   "Preteen" in this sentence bothers me. Since the perspective of the story is so centered on Aaron, a lot of the narrative reads like Aaron's thoughts. I can only assume that's intentional. Thus, this particular sentence just doesn't sound right. Aaron would never think something like "she died when I was a preteen." He'd think "she died when I was eleven," or something like that. I just can't imagine the age not being very specific to him.
   Also, you're missing an "f" in "I pulled a shirt of a rack and looked up..."


3. Mad Aunt Hattie (2342) (11/2): First Mad Aunt Hattie interview. Introduces the concept of her guardian angel and how utterly charming Hattie is.
   jason said... "Funny how you could see the future, or the past, if you learned how to really look at someone." This line makes me suspect that Hattie is going to turn out to be the missing girl, somehow, through a time travel twist or somesuch. The fact that the missing girl was last seen when she was 9 and that Hattie was 9 when she fell in the stream only re-enforces that. Don't know if that's what you want me thinking, but there it is.
   Nathan Everett said... I think it's more along the lines of parallel structure. There might be a clue to the identity of the 9-year-old, but I don't think there is a real connection. Interesting idea though.

Chapter Two: Meet the players. (5493)

1. Battleground (1516) (11/2): I think there will probably need to be a scene that gets closer to the kind of coalition that exists among the industries along the lakeshore. The harbormaster is not the one calling the shots in terms of his disagreement with Pol, but is receiving motivation from the steel mills and oil refineries that stretch from Michigan City to Chicago. Maybe Nina’s boyfriend is working with them.
   jason said... "Neighbor fought neighbor over whether to switch to daylight savings time or to stay on real time." In one of those little known but true facts, it's actually called "daylight saving" time, in the singular. And personally, I'd have fought on the side of the traditionalists in that one...
   jason said... Couple more thoughts:
   1. I'm not clear on who the two sides were in the "battle of burns ditch". I can infer that the other side was environmentalists, but that's not clear, and back in 1960, well, that inference may not be right.
   
   
   2. "I don’t want anything we’re doing to come anywhere near that witch. She’s been sniffing around our butts like a dog as it is." Go ahead and call her a bitch. "Witch" in this context, smacks of over-dubbed dialogue in movies that have been shown on TV, where you can't miss the swear words they've tried to hide, and where they're not fooling anybody. Also, "bitch" resonates better in a double-meaning sort of way with the "sniffing like a dog" line.
   
   Nathan Everett said... Yeah. I figured out the Daylight Saving Time, too. Old habits die hard when everyone who says it says it wrong.
   I fixed the bitch.
   I'll have to make the thing about the forces who were trying to turn the whole area into a National Park a little clearer. It was definitely one of the wierder environmental battles that we've seen in this country. Roughly equivalent to cutting old growth forests in the Northwest.


2. The Congresswoman (1168) (11/2): Establish that Pol is a congresswoman and is assembling a campaign staff. Concern about Port of Indiana.


3. Uncle Alex (906) (11/3): Introduce Alex as an advisor who calls her back to Indiana for a meeting. Pol is called for a meeting. She will be running for Governor.
   jason said... This is getting interesting. I like the way you have three main things going on, and as yet no suggestion of how they tie together. That certainly builds my curiosity!


4. Chief of Staff (1903) (11/3): We need to see Nina interacting with her staff. Pol is a US Representative. That opens up the scenery a little bit, too, with Nina coordinating offices both in Washington DC and in Indiana. Nina is attempting to hire an old boyfriend/classmate as the new press manager for Pol. There is some interest that she might rekindle the romance, but also that she is interested in having him "report to her." She has some real power issues. Follow Nina's story a little more closely to find out she is a Political Science graduate from Purdue University. Her goal is to become chief of staff to the President of the United States. She is counting on Pol to get her there, or close enough to it that she can jump to a winning candidate. She is a classic king-maker. She wants the power, but not the position.
   jason said... Ok, I'm a bit confused. In 2A, the implication is that Marvin was going to be the one to get the bill moved to Commerce. But here Marvin is saying--with some apparent sincerity--that it wasn't him. Was it Brian? Now I'm not clear on what Brian's function in 2A was supposed to be. Who really got the bill moved? Is Marvin now just lying to Nina?
   Nathan Everett said... Yeah. This surprised the heck out of me, too! All I can say is "hang in there." It really does have meaning and is integral to the main string in the story.

Chapter Three: Taking Care of Business (6476)

1. Research (2983) (11/4): Open with some resolution regarding the missing girl. Play out the first scene with her. Show Aaron at work as an investigative researcher. This is why they pay him dollars to do the research.
   jason said... Don't mention "Bluetooth", specifically. It is enough to say "Wireless earpiece". Bluetooth will, probably sooner than you think, sound dated. I remember when I read "Twistor" (the sci-fi novel penned by UW physics prof John Cramer), that he made liberal reference to what was, at the time, the going network for e-mail and file sharing: BITNet. You remember BITNet? Hardly anyone does, and in fact, by the time his novel was published, the Internet had taken hold and was clearly the preferable and superior alternative. His novel was dated before most people even read it. He included an author's note to the effect that he suspected "BITNet" wouldn't last, and that readers should take it as a placeholder for whatever the network of the future turned out to be. Fine, but why use the word if you know it's going to be wrong? Why didn't he just refer to the network generically, and let the reader fill in the specifics? I can only speculate on that, but what remains with me to this day is the object lesson on being as non-specific as possible when it comes to naming technologies.
   Nathan Everett said... Yes, I agree. No specific names on technology. This story takes place today, or essentially it starts in January 2006, but it still doesn't need to tout today's technology any more than I'm trying to invent future tech. Good point.


2. Guardian Angel (2531) (11/5): Mad Aunt Hattie's story. Introduces the idea that things aren't what they seem. Provides motivation for investigating. Establishes relationship between Aaron and Hattie so that they have grounds to continue meeting together as she progressively reveals more of her story through Aaron's repeated visits.
   jason said... Two comments on this section: one, I feel a little cheated on the missing-daughter plot. It's finished already! It was too easy to be over already. Now that it seems to be wrapped up and it still doesn't seem to be related to the rest of the plot, I'm scratching my head wondering why you bothered to write all that. I'm not sure if it would be an effective solution to simply move the reunion scene to later--just to put more space between Aaron's meeting with Janice and the reunion--but it might help.
   "And one boy stood out in my eyes like a bright start on a dark night."
   I perceive Hattie as a very poetic person, and it seems to me like she would say something a bit more specific, with more poetry, in this analogy. I like the celestial reference, but maybe something like "...like Venus on a dark night" might work better. Of course, Venus is a female figure, so maybe Mars, except Mars is a martial figure, so maybe Jupiter (which can be very very bright indeed when it is at opposition), although now that's sounding a little forced. I don't know. But there has to be some start or planetary reference that would work here. After all, people who grew up in the roaring 20s had much more exposure to the glories of the night sky than we with our light pollution do. The stars and planets should have figured larger in their mental landscapes than they do in ours.
   Nathan Everett said... Good. When they come back into the story, you'll be surprised!


3. Accident (968) (11/6): Aaron's investigation following Hattie's instructions and accident when lightning flashes. Creates the cliff-hanger for turning to the next chapter.
   jason said... "He labeled the cassette from his recorder and filed it in the row of interviews."
   I thought he had a digital recorder? Shouldn't he be copying a file to his laptop instead or something like that?
   "strike the bonnet of the car"
   Is Aaron British all of a sudden? Or is "bonnet" (vs. "hood) an Indiana-ism that I'm unaware of?
   Also, how does a (presumably vertical, as you haven't told us otherwise) telephone pole rip the top off of a car?
   Nathan Everett said... Okay. Needs some better descriptive words. I thought this section was going a little fast. Yes, audio file should be copied onto laptop. In fact, he's coming back to the laptop in chapter five and I don't want a bunch of labeled cassettes in his briefcase for reasons that will become obvious later on. Bonnet?? LOL!!! I couldn't remember the word "hood" while I was writing believe it or not!
   Having been in exactly this auto accident a number of years ago, when the car slides down an embankment, even with the forward momentum, it tips. The car is almost at a 90 degree angle when it encounters the pole which is why Aaron is climbing out over the passenger door. Obviously, I need to rework this description. It was so familiar to me that I didn't bother to describe it adequately for you.
   Thnx!

Nina's "Boyfriend"

I've decided I need a name for Nina's boyfriend. He's working more centrally into the storyline as part of the shipping and steel industry's subterfuge. He's a lobbyist for the Steel Industry in Washington DC, but he's also from Indiana and went to school with Nina at an Ivy League school (TBD). So, I need a hoosier name. I believe that this guy was a handsome basketball player, both in highschool and college. That means he needed to go to a pretty big high school with a good academic reputation as well as a hot basketball team. I'm thinking Indianapolis Arlington: small school academies, competitive basketball team every year, and good reputation as a school.

The boyfriend's name is Marvin Jackson. He is a bit of a bad boy, moving into politics when his knee prevented him from making the pros. He's lived all his life having to play all sides of the game and you never quite know who he is ultimately going to support and who he's going to stab. If he has any regrets with his current situation (highly paid, prestigious, plentiful women) it is that he never really made use of his journalism degree. He has his weaknesses, but he's careful not to show them.

Ready, Set, Go

Just three and a half more hours until I start my NaNovel. I feel pretty confident that this will go well and am anxious to get started. Midnight tonight we'll meet at an all-night Starbuck's and start writing.

I'm more concerned that DW and DD have as good and enthusiastic a time as I expect to. We're all three launching into the adventure. I'll keep using this site for keeping notes about the story that I'm not ready to put in it yet. My live journal site will have a record of how many words to date, how many days since I last shaved, and how many pounds I've lost. I figure that when I'm done it should read 75,000 words, 30 days, and 10 pounds. That's the goal. Let's see what happens.

Read the story at Accidental Witness.

More Chapter Beats

Chapter Nine: Falling in Love

Okay, some new territory here, I'm definitely departed from the former outline for Chapter Nine.

1. We've got to talk--all night. Pol goes to Aaron's house. Probably surprises him there. She wants to spend time talking to him, but doesn't want to be seen "out" with him. It would be bad for the political image to date an employee. They talk all night, obviously falling completely in love with each other. But there is an unspoken barrier between them that prevents anything more than a passionate kiss.


2. After Aaron drops Pol off at the airport (she has to go back to Washington), he stops to see Mad Aunt Hattie again. This time, she deftly describes to Aaron what it was like to fall in love with her disappearing boyfriend. The story is remarkably the same as what has just happened to Aaron. Hattie tells him that he just has to keep her away from "that church."


3. Pol, in Washington, meets with Alex to discuss Aaron's proposal. (It now has to do with exploiting a division in the coalition between the Steel Mills and the Harbormaster). In the course of the conversation, Pol reveals her feelings for Aaron. Alex is appalled. Tells Pol that she has to cut it off or he'll be forced to take action. This is where he refers to humans as plants. She adds his addiction to human food to her arsenal of arguments. But in the end, she agrees that she has to back off from the relationship.


4. Aaron and Jack. Aaron confesses that he's falling for Pol. Jack suggests a little investigation. Aaron suggests that he start with Uncle Alex.

Well, this is certainly taking a new twist, but it's keeping with the general points of the outline. I'm pretty much through both 9 and 10 in the original, but there are some new things here and the original chapters were pretty weak and unifocused. I think some new things will be brewing there.

No New Technology

Well, I think I have succeeded in stripping all new technology from my science fiction. I'm even considering stripping out the scene of Aaron being taken to the "greenhouse" by the aliens. I think I'm getting a more powerful story if there is doubt right to the end over whether they are really aliens, or even any different particularly in their capabilities. The whole concept of being an accidental witness is that there might be an explanation that is contextual for the witness. The more mystical the person witnessing, the more religious the explanation might be. The more scientific/analytical they are, the more likely the explanation is to be logical and scientific. Aaron is a researcher. He's going to go for a logical and technical explanation. Pol is going to have a hard time convincing him that she is anything other than a good politician.

So now I have to reconsider whether the speculation over whether or not there is an alien race gardening worlds makes the story science fiction or if this little drama is going to play out as more of a literary fiction piece. Man! Now that would be a first for me. (Although I guess you could call last year's more in the literary form now that I think of it.) Well, you know what they say. It's science fiction if they put it in the science fiction section at Barnes & Noble. As if...

Aaron and Jack's "Business"

Here is how it is playing out with Jack and the poker game. Jack is fully retired, but runs a "research business" for his "friends." Enough quotation marks already. He basically takes contracts to find answers to tough questions that include anything from what is my political opponent planning next to how can I get rid of the insects that are killing my crops without spreading chemicals all over? But Jack doesn't deal in checks and doesn't do any business accounting. Everything is paid for in cash won at the poker table.

Aaron is Jack's chief researcher which is why he's been working as a genealogist for the past ten years. Jack has a network of people he can ask questions of and so when Aaron is faced with having to find an answer to the Harbor problem, he brings Jack and crew into the mix. It's also why Jack is trying to figure out where Aaron is the night of the accident.

Included in the poker games, but not necessarily playing every Friday and Saturday night, are the Mayor of Fort Wayne, two of the areas largest farmers, half a dozen businessmen of various sorts, and a smattering of teachers and professors who do the research and get paid at the poker table.

The poker table etiquite is that they play for fun at $5 or $10 a hand until someone calls for a hand of Black Bottom. That's a game of seven card stud where the high hand splits the pot with low spade in the hole. Everyone politely antes while the cards are dealt and the questioner gives the one sentence summary of his problem area. If Jack is interested in taking the contract, when the bet comes to him he announces that the price of poker just went up to black chips. Everyone but the questioner and Jack fold at that time. They play out the hand as the questioner states more fully the research that he wants to have done. Jack has the option of raising the stakes at any time during the round indicating that the job is more expensive. Otherwise, they bet until Jack either checks the hand indicating that he has enough money for the job, or the questioner folds indicating that he can only afford that much of a job. On the last card Jack checks and the questioner folds to indicate that he's accepted the contract, or the questioner checks indicating that he doesn't want Jack to go through with the research. In that case Jack declares high hand and the questioner declares low spade and they split the pot. There's no contract. It is obvious at the outset of the evening who has research for Jack because they buy black chips (at $1000 cash each). Everyone else is just there to play for fun. On the rare occasion that Jack can't complete a commission, he calls for a game of Black Bottom/High Card Split. He puts the unused portion of the money that he accepted for the commission in the pot and then folds. The questioner rakes in the full pot.

This whole set-up means that Aaron and Jack are both extremely well-connected and can get information on just about anything. So when Aaron wants background on Alex, for example, he puts the money on the table for Jack. This will also be where info on the harbor cartel comes to play and where, in general, the dirt is dug.

I think I'm liking this. It might even mean that I won't have to use a new technology to protect the harbor. We'll see.

New Chaplets

I need to integrate this stuff into existing chapters, or let it stand on its own as a new chapter or several.

1. Nina is attempting to hire an old boyfriend/classmate as the new press manager for Pol. There is some interest that she might rekindle the romance, but also that she is interested in having him "report to her." She has some real power issues.


2. Follow Nina's story a little more closely to find out she is a Political Science graduate from Purdue University. Her goal is to become chief of staff to the President of the United States. She is counting on Pol to get her there, or close enough to it that she can jump to a winning candidate. She is a classic king-maker. She wants the power, but not the position.


3. We need to see Nina interacting with both Pol and with her staff. I was thinking that Pol would be a State Senator, but am thinking that in order to get the launch to governor that she's ready for and a staff the size of what she has, perhaps she will have to be a US Representative. That opens up the scenery a little bit, too, with Nina coordinating offices both in Washington DC and in Indiana.


4. I need to elevate Jack's position a bit as both friend and mentor to Aaron. First of all, the weekly poker game needs to be more than a bunch of old guys playing cards and shooting the bull. These guys need to be savvy businessmen and civil servants who use the game as much for their own agendas as for recreation. I think that Aaron's call after the accident will be completed to Jack, who is at the game. Aaron doesn't realize he's deaf, just that the call didn't go through.


5. Alex, we will discover, is using his almost expired human embodiment to experience some uniquely human sensations that are highly prized by the aliens. I'm thinking it is food related. It certainly isn't sex or relational because he thinks that is really disgusting. But there is something about the alien's make-up that gets an illicit kick out of earthly food. Alex especially wants to experience food of all cultures and regions, but has a sepcial affinity to ... what? cumin?


6. The priest doesn't really come into play much until he calls Aaron and returns the phone to him, telling the story of the non-denominational "12 Oaks Church." But he will be present at the Memorial Home the day that Aaron shows up to find that Mad Aunt Hattie has died. The funeral will be conducted at the 12 Oaks and there will be an allusion to the idea that there is some form of reunion awaiting her with her high school boyfriend.


7. Hattie's story itself needs to be developed carefully so that there is always some additional detail that keeps Aaron coming back to her even after he's gone to work for Pol. I think that she leads him on, pretending to be too exhausted to continue whenever he gets too close to what she really believes. Ultimately, she is foreshadowing Aaron and Pol.


8. Finally, I'm going to have to deal with Pol and Aaron's relationship. It needs to develop with passion and intent, but not be overbearing in its presence. I think they are going to have to mutually agree that it needs to be kept secret until after the election. She doesn't dare have any questions asked during the campaign.


9. So that wasn't finally. I think there will probably need to be a scene that gets closer to the kind of coalition that exists among the industries along the lakeshore. The harbormaster is not the one calling the shots in terms of his disagreement with Pol, but is receiving motivation from the steel mills and oil refineries that stretch from Michigan City to Chicago.

Beats, continued

Chapter Six: Touching the planet

1. Nina with the staff. We discover that Nina was supposed to hire a candidate and had one in mind. Staff questions her authority putting her on the defensive. We find out that Pol has taken Aaron to “Ditch him,” a phrase we find out means visiting her favorite project.


2. Aaron and Pol at Burns Ditch. We find them meeting with the harbormaster. Pol is concerned with the level of the dredging that is going on. Argues about environmental concern. Harbormaster tells her she won’t get votes from the shipping industry.


3. Pol and Aaron at the Dunes. Pol takes Aaron for a winter walk in the Indiana Dunes State Park. From the beach they can see the shipping traffic. She seems to get lost talking about the way to heal the earth. Aaron doesn’t understand and she takes his hand to guide him. The experience is so intense that Aaron opens his eyes to find himself kissing Pol. (Maybe. Might just feel the connection and not make the connection.)

Chapter Seven: Nina vs. Aaron part 1

1. At staff meeting, Nina blames Aaron for mess-up with Harbormaster. Aaron wins points with some of the other staff members, however, with some witicism that sets Nina off. After staff meeting Aaron is with others and jokes about Nina just as he is summoned to her office.


2. a) In Nina's office, she brings up his participation in the failed Carter Campaign. But he points out that Carter won in SF. She’ll bring up his proximity to Wounded Knee as another failure. b) She will make no bones about her being in charge no matter who hired him. Wouldn't have hired him based on his resume. He responds about Pol's poor hiring choices making it clear that he doesn't think much of Nina. Nina pulls rank and tells him she will give him the assignments and no one goes to Pol independent of her. c) She tells him that he made a mess of the Burns Ditch Harbormaster interview and it is up to him to make it right. Win the shipping and steel votes with tight deadline.


3. Aaron researches the controversy and discovers a new technology that will seal the harbor-bed stopping the need for annual dredging. This will meet Pol’s goal of letting the crust heal while keeping shipping open and cutting costs for the harbor. He’ll show it to Nina and she’ll veto it as ridiculous.


4. Pol sees the material on Aaron’s desk, she gets excited. Pol’s response will be to have it checked before she goes forward with it. She will calls Alex to get the approval.

Chapter Eight: Nina vs. Aaron part 2

1. Nina furious that Aaron has gone to Pol with his idea instead of following channels. Even though Aaron never actually talked to Pol about the concept. Nina has him pick up the press kits for conference in Muncie without telling him that his outdated calendar will direct him to Warsaw instead.


2. In Warsaw Aaron runs into Alex making contact. He finds out he's in the wrong place by getting a meeting update on is cell-phone. Aaron has to decide whether he should try to make the meeting in Muncie or follow Alex. He chooses the latter when he observes that Alex has a copy of his Burns Harbor report. Then when he’s heard Alex divulging the contents to the unknown visitor, Aaron rushes back to the office.


3. Meanwhile, Nina goes with Pol to Muncie to the correct conference telling Pol that Aaron is supposed to meet them there with the press kits. She meets with her staff there after Pol goes back to the office in Ft. Wayne, ridiculing Aaron for not being there when Nina and Pol are depending on him.


4. Aaron catches Pol there just as she arrives back from the press conference that Nina has miraculously saved from Aaron’s incompetence. Aaron bulls past the objections and addresses the suspected conspiracy to subvert the Harbor proposal. This scene gets played out to the mutual satisfaction of Pol and Aaron who end up in an embrace just as Nina opens the door.

The Chapters in Beats

One of the things I learned from years in theatres is how to plot the tempo of a scene in what we called "beats." Basically, there is a natural rise and fall of the action. It is similar to the old party game of tracking the silences in the room (about one every 15 minutes) to see how lively the party was. There would spontaneously be silence and everyone would look down at their watches. In the same way you can track the rhythms and the beats of your story. So I thought I'd try it with mine.

Chapter One: Interviews in the Retirement Home.

1. Norma Parson's chicken scratch story. Sets the stage regarding Aaron's profession. Deals with the difficulty of telling what parts of oral history are dependable and what it is difficult to validate. Establishes introduction of Mad Aunt Hattie and how you "can't believe what she says."


2. Setting up the interview and discussing the job with Jack. Introduces Mad Aunt Hattie and her own quirky view of herself. Establishes mentor relationship with Jack. Sets up use of cell phone in Aaron's business.


3. Mad Aunt Hattie's story. Introduces the idea that things aren't what they seem. Provides motivation for investigating. Establishes relationship between Aaron and Hattie so that they have grounds to continue meeting together as she progressively reveals more of her story through Aaron's repeated visits.


4. Aaron's investigation following Hattie's instructions and accident when lightning flashes. Creates the cliff-hanger for turning to the next chapter.

Chapter Two: Witnessing the Alien Meeting.

1. Aaron's awakening in the wrecked car. Establishes that he's out of contact when there is no cell service. Establishes his disorientation. Creates the question of whether he is lucid or hallucinating when he stumbles on the meeting, and also casts doubt on his hearing, affected by the thunder clap.


2. Looking in the church. Establishes that there is a window that is in viewing distance of the rendezvous place even though it is not used at this time. Establishes that the church is empty and still. Establishes that the church is normally unlocked.


3. Following the light to the grove behind the church. Validates Hatties story of 12 oaks. Introduces Aaron to the scene of the aliens. Gives us our first sample of an overheard conversation taken out of context. Begins Aaron's impositon of his context (inherited from Hattie) on what he hears.


4. Taking the photo and being discovered. Brings us to another cliff-hanger where Aaron is unconscious.

Chapter Three: The Good Samaritan.

1. Aaron's awakening in the wrecked car unable to hear again. Creates doubt over whether he ever saw or heard what he thought he did. Introduces Pol as a human character who is caring and helpful.


2. Casts into question whether or not there is cellular service because she calls 911. Distracts Aaron from his quest when EMTs arrive and take him to the hospital.


3. Checking out of the hospital and discovering Pol waiting for him. Establishes a lingering concern for Aaron on Pol's part. Gives them a chance to talk as she takes him home. Reveals the fact that she is looking for a writer. Also establishes that she is unwilling to talk about what he saw the night before.


4. Coffee with Pol. Establishes that Pol intends to keep an eye on Aaron in one way or another. She takes charge of getting him settled, calling his insurance company, using her staff to make things right. Leaves us with a spoken and an unspoken invitation as Pol invites Aaron to come to her office.

Chapter Four: Succumbing to the urge to investigate.

1. Aaron’s visit to the service station. Collects his belongings from his wrecked car. Discovers the insurance company has already been to visit. Bemused over how fast they responded.


2. Aaron returns home to find the insurance agent waiting for him. Hands him a check for more than what Aaron thinks his car is worth and says that he’ll take care of it from there on out. Lucky he wasn’t killed in the accident and tells him to bill any additional medical care. Aaron is overwhelmed at the agent’s speed and generosity. Agent lets slip that he was tipped off to move fast by a powerful person.


3. Aaron’s telling of the events at the weekly poker game with his buddies. Establishes that he can’t remember exactly what order things happened in or what they were. Makes Jack wonder if he has a concussion. Establishes that Jack has loaned him a car.


4. Aaron decides to revisit the scene, recording every detail he can to refresh his memories. More suspicions aroused when Aaron can’t find a trace of where his car went off the road. The church door is locked, further rousing Aaron’s doubts of what he thinks he remembers. Then he explores behind the church and finds the circle of 7 trees and 12 stumps. There is no trace of activity, but he pulls out his camera phone to take a picture. When he looks at it he discovers a picture from the night before. Finding the picture ends the chapter with the revelation that it wasn’t all a dream.

Chapter Five: Face-to-face with the enemy.

1. Aaron visits with Mad Aunt Hattie again to get more of her story. She can tell by the questions he is asking that he has been to see the rendezvous. She tells him that if he really wants the truth, he’ll have to get close to the source. Motivates Aaron to go see Pol.


2. Pol and Alex discussing the situation in the inner office. Allusion to old way of doing things makes it sound like they might be in a criminal activity. Establishes that there is conflict between Pol and her “superiors”.


3. As Pol and Alex leave the inner office, they find Aaron standing in the middle of the office with his cell phone out. There is a moment of recognition and the phone rings distracting them. Aaron quickly adjusts his phone and the ringing stops. Says he was just calling, but gives him the opportunity to cover taking a picture of Alex as he leaves.


4. Aaron pulls out resume and says that he’s interested in applying for the writing job. Aaron & Pol talk and just as they are turning to go into Pol’s office Nina arrives. She is apologetic for leaving the office unattended, etc. Pol introduces her to her new writer. Nina is appalled and says she has interviews scheduled. We establish that Pol has just hired over Nina’s head as chief of staff which puts Nina instantly in opposition to Aaron.

I'll do some more chapters as the day goes by or as the weekend progresses, depending on my workload this weekend.

Inside the Alien Mind

What makes the alien tick? I've listed some of the rules of engagement in the previous post, but what does it boil down to when we see Pol fall in love with Aaron. How can this being who is so much more than her human part become involved with what her own people refer to as a "plant?"

First off, there is the viewpoint of the "non-humanized alien." That is an area about which I can only begin to speculate. The alien is not just extraterrestrial. When we think about ETs, we contact the part that is essentially common to all intelligent life. Our SciFi literature is full of humans in lizard-suits. In doing that, we can encounter ETs of superior intelligence, better or more advanced technology--in general, superior races. We also encounter the primitives in most space operas. In nearly every instance, human inventiveness triumphs over the mis-applied alien intelligence, even when they are supposedly superior in every way. But what do we do with the essential otherness of the alien being. I don't believe that this race of aliens have any concept of "superiority", but just of complete otherness from the human race. They are, after all, alien.

This is the reason that the aliens must take on the form of creatures on earth in order to do the "gardening" that they do. They are raising intelligent beings and are not there to talk down to them or to manipulate them any more than parents are for their children. But this comes at a great price. What happens to the alien mind when it is molded into the form of a human?

First of all, they can communicate with the architects, but they are completely human when in human form. It is possible that they are more sensitive to the planet as a whole than other humans, and that they have no difficulty grasping their duality as both fully human and fully alien. But internally, they go through a life experience that is human. They are born, age, and die. There are some instances where the death event didn't take place in the normal way in that they dissolved their human bodies and moved to the base ship. So, even though the alien in human form is in touch with the global plan, she is subject to all the emotions and physical ills that any human is.

So, Pol struggles with knowledge of otherness with the feeling of sameness. As a result, since Aaron is genetically receptive to the presence of her otherness, she is inevitably drawn to his empathy as a remedy to her human loneliness. This is my justification.

Rules of Engagement

My premise for this race of aliens that is involved in the affairs of the earth is this: They refer to themselves as the "Gardeners" and care for the earth in the same way that we would care for a plant in a greenhouse. Their purpose is to grow earth into its personality so that it can participate with other "adult worlds" in the universe. It considers humanity to have a symbiotic relationship with the planet itself. Neither can exist without the other, though both are mere juveniles compared to the adult versions that will evolve. Since they are growing an intelligent organism, they have certain restrictions on what they can and can't do. They have to take the form of humans or other evolved species on the planet. They cannot use technology that doesn't exist in the timeframe that they are co-existing while they are on the planet. There is some question regarding their appearances in remote areas to communicate with each other. They are not psychic in their human forms, but they do read people really well. The base or control center for their operations does have advanced technology and they control several worlds in various stages of development from there. A small group of the aliens referred to as the architects set the policy in dealing with each world, but leave execution up to those who are gardening that planet.

Resume: Aaron Case

Thought it would be good to know who this dude is before Pol hires him. What is his relevant background? So I created a first draft resume for him. Here is some of the interesting stuff that Aaron has done in the past.

RESUME: AARON CASE
411 Tecumseh Drive South
Ft Wayne, IN 46809
Phone: 219-555-7575

Cultural historian specializing in the fields of family history (genealogy) and the collection and documenting of community oral history.

EXPERIENCE:
1995-Present: Independent researcher and author.
1985-1995: Librarian, Allen County Public Library Department of Genealogical Records.
1982-1985: Lecturer in History at Indiana University/Purdue University Ft. Wayne (IUPUFW).
1980-1982: Substitute teacher/Basketball coach, Bakersfield, CA
1978-1980: Publicity Director, Carter for President Campaign, San Francisco, CA
1976-1978: Reporter, Daily Independent, San Francisco, CA
1974-1976: Independent travel and research, India, South Asia, Middle East
1973: Social Worker, Bureau of Indian Affairs, Pine Ridge, SD

EDUCATION:
Certified Genealogist, 1986
Master of Arts in History, Indiana University Ft Wayne, 1985
Bachelor of Arts with double major in History and Anthropology, Indiana University 1973

PUBLICATIONS:
Memories of Northern Indiana by the residents of Warren Memorial Home, Warren, IN. 2005 Brown Jug Press, Fort Wayne, IN.
The Dachsy Family History, Pioneers of Indiana 2004 Brown Jug Press, Fort Wayne, IN.
The Truth About the Limberlost--In Search of Gene Stratton Porter 2002 University of Indiana Press, Bloomington, IN.
Others.

Using a Johari Window

I was told recently about Johari Windows and have decided to try creating one based on my two protagonists, Aaron and Pol. It was rather difficult, but worthwhile. Next I'll tackle one for each of them as they relate to the antagonist, Nina.

1.0 Open
1.1 What Aaron and Pol both know about Aaron
1.1.1 Aaron is a writer
1.1.2 Aaron stumbled on a meeting of Pol, Alex, and the architects
1.1.3 Aaron has an inquisitive mind that is unlikely to let what he sees pass unchallenged
1.2 What Aaron and Pol both know about Pol
1.2.1 Pol is a high-profile political presence
1.2.2 Pol has hidden agendas
1.2.3 Pol is an environmental supporter
2.0 Blind
2.1 What Pol knows about Aaron that Aaron doesn’t know about himself
2.1.1 He is genetically receptive to contact with the aliens
2.1.2 He is under-motivated in his work
2.1.3 He is essentially alone in this world
2.2 What Aaron knows about Pol that Pol doesn’t know about herself
2.2.1 She is sexually attractive to him
2.2.2 She is…
3.0 Hidden
3.1 What Aaron knows about himself that Pol doesn’t know
3.1.1 He was at the meeting site intentionally
3.1.2 He is investigating her genealogy
3.1.3 He has a camera-phone on which he is recording peculiar events
3.2 What Pol knows about herself that Aaron doesn’t know
3.2.1 She is an alien
3.2.2 She is working to influence the world according to a larger design in which she plays a small part
3.2.3 What was decided in her meeting with Alex and the architects
4.0 Unknown
4.1 What neither Aaron nor Pol know about Aaron
4.1.1 He is
4.1.2 He is
4.2 What neither Aaron nor Pol know about Pol
4.2.1 She is under investigation at base for illegal interference
4.2.2 She is

Obviously, some of the things in the unknown section are also unknown to me. I suppose that is the part of the story that they will tell me and I will simply record.

Posted New Chapter Outline

Well, I just posted a new chapter outline on the book site at Accidental Witness. This represents a real advance over the previous plot. If I start developing it any further it will be almost the same as writing the book. However, there are still a few holes to plug and pieces of research that I need to complete before I finish. I bounced a couple premises off the folks who gathered for a NaNoWriMo meet and greet this evening and got great feedback. I've never done writing where I could actually get feedback from people as I develop before. Doesn't mean I'll take all their suggestions, but it really fuels the fires. So thanks guys (or gals).

New Character Developments

I've come up with two new developments with the characters that will affect the story line.

• Nina Patterson. She becomes an accidental witness and over Aaron's objections reports what she believes she saw (an event that had a totally different context than what she believes she witnessed). As a result, ultimately Pol dies. I'm not sure yet of what cause.


• The love affair. Uncle Alex is going to have a real argument with Pol about her relationship with Aaron. It's going to revolve around how disgusting it is for one of her race to have relations with what is to them essentially a plant. She will argue that when they take on the totally human form and go through the birth process and all the stages of human life they become subject to the same emotions, desires, and fallacies that their human subjects have.

This argument could lead to the event that Nina witnesses and ultimately blows the whistle on. I really have to re-write my chapter outline this weekend.

Character development

Character development

Aaron Case: Age 50+. Widowed. No Children. Hence his fascination with genealogy as he will be the last of his line. No close relatives, though there are cousins.
Occupation: Genealogist/Historian
Grew up at the tale end of the Hippie age. Into drugs, Hari Krishna, Jesus People, Buddhism, Taoism, and Kabala. Considered himself a “seeker of truth.” Finally settled into a fairly tame search for family mysteries. He is in Warren compiling oral histories at the Memorial Home. Lives in Ft. Wayne and uses the Allen County Public Library for research. Finds the location to be at Prospect Cemetery? (Pretty exposed there. Maybe I’ll just re-arrange the geography a bit.) If he goes to the hospital in Bluffton is that too far or would they take him up to Ft. Wayne? I think the latter. Let’s stay out of most of the really small towns. Focus on the city.
Aaron goes out to Unitarian Church where he professes to be a born-again pagan. Also goes to the Lions Club (other frat org?). Plays poker with a group at a friend’s house. He’s also interested in gadgets and always has a new computer or camera or cell phone to show off.

Polyhymnia Stamos (Pol): Age 40+. Single. No Children. No close relatives other than an “uncle” that shows up occasionally.
Occupation: City manager, looking to move up in politics. Standing for election to Governorship.
She’s an alien. She is fully in human form, however, and communicates with her base only when in direct contact with another alien or when they send a contact to a rendezvous point. The rule of the race is no use of technology that is beyond their human counterparts. She is here specifically to address environmental concerns along Lake Michigan. It is a part of awakening the personality of the earth. She is focused on healing a wound. She is, in that way, a physician. Her means of working, however, is through the channels that are in place in human society. Humanity, to her, is a symbiant life form with the earth. The idea of man leaving the planet and flying to other worlds is ridiculous to her as humanity is part of what makes up the character of the earth, and is not an independent creature.

Jack Diggory: Age nearly 70. Aaron’s friend and mentor with whom he plays poker. Jack has children and grandchildren and his wife is a busybody who is always trying to fix Aaron up with someone.
Jack retired from teaching but is active in the community. He is a mentor to Aaron in many ways including being a sounding board for his career. Turns out they knew each other “in the old days” when Aaron was a hippy teen and Jack was his radical history teacher.

Uncle Alex: Age ancient, but doesn’t show it. Pol’s alien “Uncle” who shows up to bring messages to her and to run communications to base so that Pol doesn’t have to risk discovery in her high profile position.
Alex is like an alien chief retired who is trying to keep Pol on the straight and narrow. Pol tends to want to intervene more directly and believes that it is time for people to know their gardners. Alex says that plants never have an awareness of who weeds and waters them. She should leave the grand plan to the architects.

Norma Parsons: Age 89. The first person that we hear Aaron interviewing at the home. She tells him to interview Mad Aunt Hattie. We may or may not hear from her again after that.

Mad Aunt Hattie: Age 97. She tells Aaron the story of her disappearing boyfriend and how she came to be called “Mad.” She tells a wild tale of aliens among us, finally pointing at one of the nurses and telling Aaron that she is one of them. Something in her story, the details of the location and the date that it happened, spark Aaron to investigate her story more thoroughly. He continues to return to her periodically to listen to her “madness” some more, comparing it gradually to his own encroaching opinion that there are aliens among us. I need historical information surrounding the beginning of WWI to set the context for her story. What was our initial involvement and how was it announced to people that we were at war?

Nina Patterson: Age 28. Pol’s administrative assistant/chief of staff. She is thoroughly human and dedicated to Pol with a passion that overrides everything else. She is at first skeptical and at times openly hostile to Aaron. Occasionally she feeds him misinformation to attempt to discredit him. It is one of these pieces of misinformation that brings Aaron into his second accidental encounter, leading to his being taken to base. Nina may be the one who ends up engineering the exposure. Who better than a fiery zealot to feel betrayed when she finds out what is really going on? This surprises me. She will play Judas to Aaron’s John.

Now I need to revisit the Chapter Outline. There is new information here that will help me to flesh out some of the details and plot twists. I’m still expecting that Pol and Aaron will fall in love. That’s going to set up the motivation for Pol to help Aaron escape from Base and return to earth. There is also the point here that Nina will attempt the exposure of Pol much earlier. Aaron’s phone photos will have a different meaning when he shows them at the end of the book.

Blogging the novel

I got an interesting comment last night that I was "brave" to post my plot outline and to blog my novel during November because that would really ruin my chances of getting a publisher as that would constitute first rights. Well, that's okay. I think that people who imagine that they will produce a fully publishable product in one month are either superhuman or joking. But the truth is that I have no plans for this particular work beyond NaNoWriMo and the blog where I publish it. What I am hoping to do is get some readership and exposure on what I consider a pretty light piece of fluff so that there might be some interest in my more serious works (that aren't blogged). Even if that doesn't work, I hope that this will be entertaining, both for me and for the readers that do see it. I'd really like to explore further the prospects of non-print publishing, syndication, podcasting, etc. as a next generation form of disseminating literary works. I understand the shortcomings of on-line security and the protection of literary rights, but right now, I'd be pretty happy to see my work downloaded and read by a million people even if I never got a cent from it.

Any thoughts on this? Are you writing to publish or to write/entertain? or both?

Joining NaNoWriMo Groups

I've been trying to build a contact base with other writers during this time leading up to November. I've invited writers to meet at a local coffee shop on Tuesday evenings, and have been visiting other writers' blogs to bookmark them so I can monitor their progress and cheer them on, and to invite them to do the same by visiting my site. Don't know how many people will actually be blogging their novels this year. Blogger doesn't appear to have opened up any kind of blog registration this year. Last year I know several hundred registered and either blogged the novel or blogged their notes about creating it. I'm doing both with two blogs this year.
So, if you are participating in NaNoWriMo, visit my book site and bookmark it. Leave a comment here or there and I'll do the same for you. And if you want to know where to meet other writers, visit NaNoWriMo.org and check the regional forums. That's where it's at.

Getting Antsy

Well, to keep myself from sitting down and starting to write the book today, I worked for several hours on designing the new book site. I think it looks pretty good. You can see it at Accidental Witness. I have to fix the cross-linking between that site and this one as I intend to continue posting notes on the development here while I'm writing there in November. It now has the Chapter Outline up in the form that the actual body of the book will take. Boy it took a lot of work to get the templates edited correctly. The template I intended to use I just couldn't get to behave the way I wanted it to. So the one that I'm actually using is a derivative of this one. I just made a few changes to the general shape and layout, background colors, and, of course, what appeared in the sidebar. I want it focused on the book, so will create the table of contents in the sidebar so that you can navigate through it chapter by chapter. I've got to decide whether to name the chapters in addition to calling them Chapter One, etc. I'm also not too pleased with the chapter heading. I'm not sure what happened that I didn't get an option to put a title on the post as I do on this site. I didn't touch anything in that arena as far as I know. Well, that is enough for tonight. Better head for bed.

Chapter Outline

It’s time to start outlining on a chapter by chapter basis or I won’t get past a very long first chapter. So here is a start at what I expect the main action ingredients to be.

Chapter 1: Aaron is my protagonist. He is a genealogical researcher collecting stories for an oral history at the local nursing home in a small community. Here he comes across Mad Aunt Hattie who tells him the story of her disappearing boyfriend. He investigates and finds the location where the disappearance is supposed to have occurred. Just as he approaches, he is blinded by a flash of light and drives off the road.

Chapter 2: After a brief disorientation, Aaron gets out of his wrecked car and hears voices nearby. When he approaches he finds a “mystically illuminated” scene that reminds him vaguely of some Biblical story. He recognizes one of the people as a prominent citizen with an eye to a political campaign. Just at the point that he is about to interrupt and make his presence known, another voice joins the others that is disembodied. He hears the voice, but can’t understand it, even though it seems to be speaking English. Understanding what is said is just beyond his reach. Then all but the known party begin to disappear. Just at the point that they are about gone, one turns and points at Aaron. There is another bright flash and he passes out.

Chapter 3: Aaron wakes up in his car. The politician is rapping on the window to see if he is all right. He opens the door and stumbles out. The politician picks him up and takes him to his own car and drives him to the local hospital. When Aaron gets out, he finds the politician (need a name if I’m going to keep referring to him or her) waiting for him. Says the car was towed to the local service station. Where can he take Aaron? Aaron starts to mention last night, but Pol hushes him saying that anyone would have done the same (good Samaritan routine) so that he never gets to ask about what he saw. Instead we spend the chapter with the two getting to know each other and what they do and it ends with Pol offering Aaron a job on his/her staff for the coming election.

Chapter 4: Aaron spends a chapter deciding whether or not to join Pol’s staff. During that time he discovers some of what had happened the night of the accident disappearing from his memory. So being a writer he writes it down. He revisits the site and makes some kind of motivating discovery. Place where the car was parked? Footprints? He decides that something bigger than an election is going on here and decides to take the job so that he can be close to Pol, who has also charmed him with his cause in the election.

Chapter 5: We change POV to catch Pol with a visitor to whom he is explaining that he was discovered and that it might pose some risk of exposure. They discuss the situation with the visitor bemoaning the loss of the old days when they’d just have got rid of the interloper. Pol says they haven’t done that in years and the council’s directive that they influence only and not interfere had to be followed. Pol suggests that the visitor’s next contact will be before his, so please keep the council informed. As the visitor gets up to leave, they hear footsteps in the outer office. When they open the door, Aaron is there, intending to take up Pol’s offer on the position. It is unclear whether he has heard anything of their conversation. Pol tells the visitor goodbye and invites Aaron into the inner office.

Chapter 6: Aaron meets more of Pol's staff and begins the work of writing campaign materials for him. Pol takes Aaron out to a private site where xxx? something is happening and tells him that this is what he is staking his campaign on. When Pol gets his first speech from Aaron he sends it back because it doesn't contain info on the pet project. Conflict between what Aaron sees as necessary to win and what Pol sees as his objective. Winning the election isn't as important as enlightening people on the issue.

Chapter 7: Interlude. Aaron is sent away, or ahead of Pol to a location to do set-up and research before Pol gets there. In the course of doing research or in a bar or somewhere, Aaron is approached by a stranger who begins to challenge what Pol is all about. He drops hints of where Aaron could find the whole story if he looked. Aaron follows a lead and sits with the answer in his hands trying to decide what to do with the info.

Chapter 8: This sets up a big confrontation between Aaron and Pol. Aaron starts challenging him on little things in his agenda that he thinks have a larger hidden agenda. He suggests alternates that Pol consistently rejects. Ultimately, Aaron threatens to leave and expose Pol for the Alien that he is.

Chapter 9: Pol tries to get Aaron back in the fold. Aaron instists that he knows Pol's true nature and has known from the beginning. Pol suggests that he only knows part of the story, so Aaron challenges him to tell him the rest of the story. Aaron insists that he will expose him unless he can understand it all. Pol finally agrees to take him with him to his next contact.

Chapter 10: Pol takes Aaron to a lonely place and conceals him. Then waits to be joined warning Aaron to stay hidden. When the other presence joins Pol, Aaron listens, then rises to take a picture on his cell phone. The presence discovers him and is angry. Finally snatches up both Aaron and Pol and takes them back to "base" with him. Aaron blacks out in the transition.

Chapter 11: Aaron awakens hearing voices discussing what to do with him. Suggests that a lot of people disappear and he will just be one of them. Pol argues that its not necessary. No one would believe him. Aaron manages an escape which leads to different chambers in the base where he sees worlds in various stages of development. Finally Pol catches up with him and explains the greenhouse concept and how they consider themselves gardners, giving personality to the balls of energy. Too much revelation and not enough action, but we'll think of something.

Chapter 12: Pol helps Aaron escape back to where they started. Aaron agrees not to blow Pol's cover as Pol has shown him what happened to Mad Aunt Hattie when she tried to reveal their secret. Once the mythology has taken hold, it is impossible to root out. Aaron is just an accidental witness to things that are much bigger than he is. Aaron quietly sticks with Pol and helps him get elected. He eventually retires as Pol does and is present when Pol returns to his base.

Chapter 13: Aaron sits in the nursing home being interviewed for an oral history by a younger genealogist and tells the story of aliens that are growing the earth as if it were in a greenhouse. The interviewer chuckles about the story to himself. But Aaron reaches into a box and pulls out what looks like an ancient communications device. People have cellular implants now so that they can communicate effortlessly whenever they want. Aaron has kept his cell phone from his time with Pol and shows the interviewer the photos he took both of Pol and on the base. He hands the interviewer the phone and tells him to decide what to do with it.

Well, we'll see how that changes when I actually start writing, but that should give me a sufficient outline to hang my story on. As I continue to think it out this month I will revisit and revise the outline. At the end of November we'll see if the finished work resembles the outline at all.    

Direct or Indirect?

What I'm weighing at the moment is the difference between having the protagonist discover something that exposes the alien intervention vs. the discovery being part of a direct intervention on the part of the alien intelligence. In the first scenario, there has to be some major flaw on the part of the aliens that has left a trail that this guy is so brilliant as to be able to follow and discover for the first time something that has been going on for thousands of years. That seems more incredible (and ego-centric) than the idea that he happened to be in the right place at the right time and the aliens used him to expose the plan, like a prophet in the Old Testament.

Now this puts a new twist on the whole story if he is chosen for the task by the aliens like God choosing a prophet. What I'd like to do with this concept, however, is a little twist that maybe he is the wrong person. So he gets exposed to it by accident when the aliens intended the message to go through someone with more credibility or a different profile. In that way, he becomes one of the accidental witnesses himself. Maybe the old lady telling the story tells him the location where the exchange of information is to take place and he goes there and witnesses it. Then he attempts to publish an expose on the real prophet.

I can see that this has taken a third bent as I've been writing about it here. So he makes the discovery himself, but he makes it not from brilliant research, but from being accidentally present when the real prophet is given the message. I like this, because his interpretation is not the insider info, but is the accidental witness view that only has a limited amount of context around it from which to create his story. The real prophet is not even given a message to pass on to humanity, but is one of the aliens who is being tied into a part of the plan. It involves a technology development or a political development. Not something religious, but something that is related to the "ultimate" goal of the greenhouse.

I'm getting very excited about this and only hope that I will have enough time to devote to writing it. I'm ready to start now, but of course that would be cheating. I'm waiting to put the first words on screen for November 1.

My big questions today

First person or third person? It’s easier to tell the story as first person narrator, but seems more commercially acceptable to use third person. My writing teachers always said third person for novels. Do I take the leap and try to do it as a third person story?

My main character is doing oral history/genealogical research. Which is it? Is he doing an oral history of the old people in a town? Or is he interviewing people in a nursing home? Or is he interviewing members of a family that is paying to have a genealogy done?

What connects crazy Aunt Hattie’s story to the big breakthrough of a long sequence of accidental witnesses stretching back to Biblical times? How do I make the leap? It’s easy to investigate and find that her story is actually linked to a real event. But what is it that connects it to the whole history of alien involvement? This has to make the bridge from casual reality to science fiction so seamlessly that people don’t even realize that it’s changed. How do I make the connection and to what?

If I’m in third person, I could simply jump to the alien mind and my researcher could be just one more dupe that gets drawn into the web as an accidental witness. Perhaps the real story is taking place above/around us and he is discovering it because there is a faction among the aliens that want to be discovered.

This shifts the story line to one in which the aliens are revealed as not being benign, but as having some significant plan in which earth is the what?? Battleground? Too Ron Hubbard. Pawn? Playing field? Weapon? I can’t tell. Or are we not an insignificant sideline of the ultimate plan, but the plan itself? Perhaps we’ve exceeded our usefulness and are now simply being kept until we exterminate ourselves. What do you do with the leftovers after the experiment is finished? How do you recycle a planet?

The Setup

What I’m thinking at the moment is that the story will be one of discovery by an old hippie, seeker of truth. Has been a Christian, Hari Krishna, Pagan, Atheist. Now, through some discovery, has become an accidental witness to the “truth” that even he must struggle to comprehend. Would have been easier to write in the sixties when he could blame it all on Timothy Leary.

I. I am no sage, nor a particularly wise person. I’m certainly no prophet. I’ve always been a seeker of truth in one of its many forms, however, and that, I suppose is what has led me to become a researcher. No, I’m not trying to find a cure for cancer, nor to get the next great scientific breakthrough. You see, I’m a genealogist.

II. Where can the research problem come from that leads into this adventure? Researching a little known family tree line and finding an account by an ancestor about the strange thing he saw that sparked his discovery. Perhaps doing primary research, gathering family stories from an old woman. She suggests that something is going on somewhere. And someone ought to get to the bottom of it.

III. There is a sequence of events that has led up to her story that I uncover a bit at a time. First, an old newspaper article verifying the substance of the story. Then a family Bible that records on this date Emily saw something. In the record, there is a key word that leads to additional research and that takes him along a paper trail of documents that lead back to the Roman Empire. It seems that not only have these people been seeing things for years, but that it is part of the same family for as far back as time can tell.

IV. Carefully work in a commentary regarding the Alien’s conflict that keeps getting the human race involved in places that they are not supposed to be. It is not the human potential to great good things, but the tendency toward gross incompetence that keep having people show up where they are not supposed to be. We discover that one of the aliens is actually facilitating the accidental witnessing.

Accidental Witness
Premise: All the religious events of the world were actually alien interventions in a managed world greenhouse. We see evidence in some of the Biblical events like Enoch walking with God and being “no more”. The marrying of the Elohim among the daughters of men. Elijah taken up in a fiery chariot with Elisha watching. Moses body being wrestled over by Michael and Lucifer with Joshua as a witness. Jesus meeting with Moses and Elijah on the Mount with Peter, John, and Andrew as witnesses. Paul seeing the light on the road to Damascus. We couple that with wise and sometimes conflicting prophets of other cultures like Zoroaster, Mohammed, Buddha, Confucius, and others.

The explanation is that an alien race, greatly long-lived, has orchestrated the growth of earth from primitive cultures to the present. At times the power structure among these aliens shifts and there are shifts in what the program proves to be. And there is the uncertain growth patterns of the world itself. “a great, seething, raw and powerful intelligence that has no personality.”

The trick will be to make a compelling story out of it. There should be a specific goal or task that needs to be accomplished before the world gains its personality. There is a grand design, it just doesn’t happen to involve the mythology that we have created around events that we weren’t supposed to know about, but there were accidental witnesses to them.

I’ll work in the Greek gods and the Titans preceeding them. The alien race moves outside the bounds of time. The universe is a big seedbed of these wild planets that the group of aliens tends like a garden, some with more success than others. From that rises the story.