"Dag" has taken up residence

He is occupying the spare bedroom in my mind and filling it with Dag-isms. Here are a couple things he's mentioned regarding my 2007 NaNoWriMo, tentatively titled "Security & Exchange".

"I know you want to hear about a hard-boiled detective in this story. But that's not me. I'm more sort of crunchy on the outside with a soft marshmallowy filling."

"I won't deny the right of people to play by a different set of rules. They've got the right to ignore stop signs, traffic lights, and pedestrians in the crosswalk. I just think that they should all have "EXEMPT" tatooed across their foreheads so those of us who are trying to cross the street can watch out for them."

"I have to tell you, when I see a young sexy lady near me, I can't help but imagine what it would feel like to make love to her. Hmmm. Okay. I can't help but imagine what my right hand will feel like when I imagine I'm making love to her."

"I think of myself as being an athletic, fit, good-looking 25- or 30-year-old. So I avoid mirrors. Shaving in the morning is a grim reminder of what used to be."

Who knew he'd be so deep?